Opinion

Band 6+: Some people believe that a person's success depends more on hard work than on natural talent. Do you agree or disagree

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Some individuals think that success in human life mainly relies on hard work, while others hold the opposite view that luck and natural ability are more crucial. Athough some people believe in order to reach only success depends on hard work , I still completely agree with this notion, as luck and natural ability help people to gain achievements easily.

There are some reasons why I put forward this perspective that good fortune and natural talent play an important role in attaining achievements. Firstly, people who have natural ability can encounter difficulties easily. For instance, when people face a dangerous situation, they can immediately handle this because they have problem-solving skills. As a result, reaching success is easy when they have talent. Secondly, success not only depends on talent but also on fortune. For example, when somebody takes part in a competition with a large number of candidates, they have to undergo many various challenges to reach the destination. If they have talent and combine it with fortune, they will win easily. Consequently, success partly depends on luck and natural ability.

By contrast, I disagree with this opinion that success in life mainly relies on hard work. To begin with, hard work is only an insignificant element in order to help people to gain achievement. In modern civilization, if they always work hard without practical skills such as interpersonal and teamwork skills and relationships, it is difficult for them to gain success easily. Working hard is essential, but people who fail have a lack of life skills. Furthermore, many individuals have a qualified educational condition, they have priority in life, which compares with people who are always handling any aspect of life by themselves. Additionally,working hard is a crucial element, but it is not enough to ensure success. Success is a result of combining efforts, natural ability and good fortune.

In conclusion, although individuals agree with that success mainly depends on hard work, I still believe that luck and natural talent play an important role in reaching success easily.

Word Count: 339

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

success: 11

natural: 7

people: 7

talent: 5

ability: 4

depends: 4

easily: 4

skills: 4

individuals: 3

mainly: 3

fortune: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position. The ideas are relevant but could benefit from more focused and precise support. The essay could be improved by providing more specific examples and elaborating on the connections between luck, natural ability, and success. Also, ensure a balanced discussion by giving due consideration to the role of hard work, rather than dismissing it as insignificant.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates a generally clear progression of ideas, but the connections between some sentences and paragraphs could be strengthened. Transitions are present but not always seamless, which occasionally affects the flow. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to enhance the logical connection between ideas. For example, in the second paragraph, explicitly linking the examples back to the main argument would improve coherence. The introduction and conclusion adequately frame the essay, but could be more impactful by directly addressing the extent of agreement or disagreement with the statement.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a range of vocabulary appropriate to the topic, but there are instances where word choice could be more precise. While the vocabulary is generally accurate, there's room to incorporate more sophisticated language to elevate the writing. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'success,' explore synonyms like 'achievement,' 'accomplishment,' or 'fruition' to add nuance. Focus on expanding your vocabulary and using it accurately to convey your ideas more effectively. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors are noticeable and occasionally impede understanding. Errors in article usage, verb tense consistency, and sentence structure are present. While the range of structures is adequate, improving accuracy is crucial. Focus on reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction to minimize errors. Proofreading carefully for subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and proper punctuation will also help improve the clarity and accuracy of your writing.

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