Discussion

Band 9: Some people believe that advertising is becoming more powerful and influences people's purchasing decisions strongly. Others think that people today are more aware and therefore less affected by advertisements. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

Today, advertisements are everywhere in our daily lives, from television screens to the internet. While some individuals argue that commercials control people’s shopping habits excessively and cause problems, others claim that they are actually beneficial for the public. In this essay, I will discuss both of these opinions and explain why I strongly believe that advertising is a very helpful tool for consumers.

On the one hand, some people think that advertisements have a negative impact on society. This is because adverts manipulate individuals into buying things they do not really need. For example, many teenagers buy expensive clothes or smartphones just because they see them in beautiful TV commercials. As a result, people waste a lot of money on unnecessary products instead of saving it.

On the other hand, I believe that advertisements are very useful for consumers. Since there are thousands of different products in the market, people cannot easily decide what to buy. For instance, when a company produces a new healthy food product, advertisements give people important information about its price and quality. Therefore, adverts help customers to make better choices in their daily lives.

In conclusion, even though some people strongly believe that adverts make individuals buy unnecessary things and waste their money, I completely disagree with this negative perspective. I believe that advertisements are extremely necessary because they provide valuable information about new products in the crowded market. If companies do not use commercials, customers cannot easily learn about their options and make smart shopping decisions.

Word Count: 252

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

advertisements: 5

people: 5

believe: 4

individuals: 3

commercials: 3

because: 3

adverts: 3

products: 3

about: 3

their: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt. You have clearly discussed both viewpoints - the manipulative nature of advertising and its utility as an information source - and provided a consistent personal opinion throughout the response. The ideas are well-developed, relevant, and supported by logical examples. To maintain this high standard, ensure that you continue to balance the depth of both sides of the argument, though in this instance, the development was sufficient for a top score.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is exceptionally well-organized. The progression of ideas is logical, moving smoothly from the introduction to the discussion of both viewpoints, and finally to a clear conclusion. The use of cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', 'For instance', and 'In conclusion' is natural and helps guide the reader through the argument without being repetitive or intrusive. Paragraphing is used effectively to separate distinct ideas.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is precise, appropriate, and varied. Terms such as 'manipulate individuals', 'unnecessary products', 'crowded market', and 'valuable information' demonstrate a strong command of lexical features. The words are used naturally within the context of the topic, and there is no evidence of awkward phrasing or incorrect word choices. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a wide range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences and conditional clauses (e.g., 'If companies do not use commercials...'). The grammar is used with full flexibility and control, and there are no noticeable errors in punctuation or syntax. The writing is clear, accurate, and sophisticated.

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