Discussion

Band 4+: Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

it is good to show children living a freedom evironment, becouse it could help children to grow stronger and confudent. But it depends on the age of the child, forexample a little children can not choose clothes and they also like to eat sweets all the time.

When the children is free to their choices they could make mistakes so parents should not ductake children what want, but guide to the right path. forexample mask parents in westen world teach their children arguing rather than smagging when they do something wrong. When children are tought to do their own choice could easily manage their affairs, when grow up.

children may sometimes give a good opinion, so that it is good to understand rakher than upsetting them. Many parents In Africa do not believe of listen children, that is cause many. African children become vandals and aggressors toward the community.

if we teach our youngers to determine their own choices, they will show respect to their ad community in is general because they never felt oppressed and they would not bother to any when they get older.

over all, when we listen our children that we make their future personality better. parents should respect children. Same Wke adults. When the parents try to refuse children something they should justify to them why they refused explain to them the reasons.

Word Count: 228

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

children: 12

their: 7

parents: 5

could: 3

should: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by discussing both views on children's freedom and providing an opinion. However, the development of ideas is not always clear, and some points lack sufficient support. The essay could benefit from clearer explanations and more specific examples to strengthen the arguments. Also, the essay contains grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, which affect clarity. To improve, focus on developing each idea more fully with relevant examples and ensuring grammatical accuracy. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay's organization is somewhat unclear, and the progression of ideas is not always smooth. Paragraphing could be improved to better group related ideas. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are often weak or missing, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas and improve the overall flow.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is limited and sometimes inaccurate. There are instances of inappropriate word choice and a lack of precision in expressing ideas. To improve, focus on expanding your vocabulary and using more precise language. Pay attention to collocations and the nuances of word meanings. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors, including issues with verb tense, subject-verb agreement, articles, and sentence structure. These errors significantly impede understanding. Focus on mastering basic grammar rules and sentence structures. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors.

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