Discussion

Band 4+: Some people believe that individuals cannot improve the environment, while others think that individual actions can make a difference. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Many people think that individuals play an important role in protecting the environment. On the other hand, some believe that individuals can make a significant difference. I completely disagree and in this essay, I will discuss both sides and support my opinion with some examples.

Over the last two or three years decade, the way that environment is done has changed dramatically. Every person can reduce the waste. For example Environment can be changed by using plastic beg and bottels. Addiotionally public transport plays significant role on this. By using public transport instead of private cars. However millions of people can adopt this habbit it will be impact all over the world.

On the other hand, some people believe individuals have limited impact. However governments and larger companies produce more pollution than individuals. However citizens have no power to control industries. Government can make strict environment regulations. In my opinion individuals can make a difference, but governments and businesses have a greater responsibilities.

In conclusion individuals can improve the environment with their daily habits. But governments and businesses play an important role. In my perspective i strongly agree that ordinary citizens make a difference to the improve on environment. However governments and businesses have greater responsibility.

Word Count: 206

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

individuals: 6

environment: 6

however: 4

governments: 4

people: 3

difference: 3

businesses: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses both views and presents a clear opinion, but the development is limited and lacks clarity in places. The first body paragraph is underdeveloped and contains unclear examples (e.g., 'using plastic beg and bottels' is not clearly linked to improving the environment). The second body paragraph introduces the idea of government responsibility but does not fully explain why individuals have limited impact. The conclusion is somewhat repetitive. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, provide more specific and relevant examples, and develop ideas more fully. Also, avoid vague statements and check for grammatical accuracy and word choice. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow is disrupted by abrupt transitions and some unclear references. For example, the first body paragraph shifts from discussing individual actions to a vague example about plastic bags and bottles without a clear connection. The second body paragraph introduces the role of governments and businesses but lacks a smooth link to the previous point. The conclusion repeats the introduction but does not effectively synthesize the arguments. To improve, use cohesive devices more naturally (e.g., 'On the one hand', 'Furthermore', 'In contrast') and ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and logical progression of ideas.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, with some repetition (e.g., 'environment', 'individuals', 'governments'). There are also errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'the way that environment is done' and 'adopt this habbit'. Some phrases are informal or imprecise (e.g., 'it will be impact all over the world'). To improve, expand your vocabulary with more precise and varied terms (e.g., 'environmental degradation', 'mitigate', 'regulatory measures'), and use more sophisticated expressions to convey your ideas clearly.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement ('individuals play' vs. 'individuals can make'), incorrect verb forms ('can be changed by using plastic beg and bottels'), and punctuation issues (missing commas, run-on sentences). There are also spelling errors (e.g., 'beg' for 'bag', 'bottels' for 'bottles', 'habbit' for 'habit'). The range of sentence structures is limited, with many simple and repetitive patterns. To improve, focus on using a variety of complex structures (e.g., conditional sentences, relative clauses) and proofread carefully to eliminate basic errors.

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