Opinion

Band 6+: Some people believe that water is important for human, while others thnik natural resources are more valuable than water.

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The debate over which natural resource is most crucial for humanity has been ongoing for decades. While some people argue that oil and gold are extremely important, in my opinion water remains the most essential resource. In this essay, I will discuss both views and present my perspective.

First of all, water is essential for human survival because it makes up approximately 60% of the human body and is necessary for many biological processes. Without water, life on Earth would be impossible. People need water not only for drinking but also for agriculture, food production and maintaining ecosystems.

At the same time, there are arguments supporting the idea that oil and gold are also extremely important. These resources play a significant role in economic development and technological progress. Oil is widely used to produce fuel for transportation, plastics and many industrial products. Gold is important for the financial system and is also used to manufacture jewellery, medical equipment and electronic devices.

In conclusion, although oil and gold play significant roles in modern society, water remains the most crucial natural resource because life itself depends on it.

Word Count: 186

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

water: 5

resource: 3

important: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both views and providing an opinion. The ideas are relevant, but the support for each view could be more detailed and precise. To improve, consider expanding on the specific ways oil and gold contribute to economic development and technological progress, and provide more concrete examples. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay presents a clear and logical argument, with a discernible structure including an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both viewpoints, and a conclusion. Transitions are present but could be more sophisticated to enhance the flow between ideas. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to further link ideas within and between paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, appropriate for the topic. While the vocabulary is generally accurate, there's room to incorporate more precise and nuanced word choices to elevate the writing. Explore synonyms and idiomatic expressions related to natural resources and their importance.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay exhibits a strong command of grammar with only minor errors. The sentence structures are varied and generally well-controlled. To further enhance the grammatical range, consider incorporating more complex sentence structures and less common grammatical forms where appropriate.

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