Discussion

Band 5+: Some people focus on news in their country, while others think it is more important to be aware of international news. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In resalt years, some people focus on the news in their country. While others believe it is more important to be aware of international news. In my opinion, I agree with the importance of being aware of international news. I will discuss both pros and cons in this essay.

Firstly, people who focus on the news in their country because it’s important to know how the country is doing, from economy to finance it brings reassurance to the people that their country is safe. For instance, 90 % of the population worry about their country state, and they fear of any harm coming to the country. Furthermore, in every country there is 10% of the population care more about the news in their country.

While others believe that you should be aware of the international news, because it the global economy can affect your own place. For example, when covid _19 happen it started in China, but it spread globally and affected the whole world. Therefore, people nowadays stand to listen the international news to make sure there is no harm to their country.

In conclusion, many people stand to focus more on there country news to understand how their country is doing. On the other hand, some people care more about the international news because they are aware of other countries affecting their own. In my opinion, it is very important to be aware what happing around you because the whole world can affect your own country and its economy.

Word Count: 251

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

country: 10

their: 8

people: 6

aware: 5

international: 5

because: 4

focus: 3

important: 3

economy: 3

about: 3

there: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses both views and presents a clear position, which meets the basic requirements of the task. However, the development of ideas is limited and lacks depth. The arguments are supported with general examples (e.g., COVID-19) but are not fully extended or precise. There are also some issues with clarity and focus, such as vague statements (e.g., '90% of the population worry') and minor repetition. To improve, provide more specific and well-developed examples, ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea with detailed support, and refine the language for better precision and coherence.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear connections between sentences. For example, the transition from the first body paragraph to the second could be smoother. The use of cohesive devices is basic, and some paragraphs lack a clear topic sentence or logical progression. To improve, work on using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more effectively, and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea that is developed logically.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, but there are some inaccuracies and repetitions. For instance, 'resalt years' should be 'recent years', and 'happing' should be 'happening'. The phrase 'stand to listen' is not idiomatic; 'tend to listen' or 'make a point of listening' would be better. There is some attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'economy', 'global economy', and 'reassurance', but the range is limited. To improve, expand your vocabulary by reading more on current affairs and practice using synonyms and more precise terms. Avoid repeating the same words and phrases. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'people who focus on the news in their country because it's important' is a sentence fragment; it should be 'People focus on the news in their country because it's important'. Also, 'when covid _19 happen' should be 'when COVID-19 happened', and 'there country' should be 'their country'. There are issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage. The range of sentence structures is limited, with many simple sentences. To improve, practice using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences, and pay close attention to grammar rules, especially verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and possessive forms.

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