Opinion

Band 7+: Some people say that more money should be invested in science than in other subjects. Do you agree or disagree with this belief? Explain your viewpoint with reasons and include appropriate examples based on your knowledge or experiences.

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There is a belief that more budget sources should be allocated to scientific research rather than to other sectors. From my perspective, I view this opinion somewhat favorably as not only can scientific exploration contribute to the growth of the country but also various other fields can do so.

The foundation of the notion occurs because it can enhance residents’ living conditions and the inclusive development of a nation. Groundbreaking discoveries in science result in new solutions and the invention of sophisticated technology, meeting the demand of various fields to lessen the burden of daily living and manufacturing. What is more is that scientific research makes a contribution to resolving complicated collective problems such as the environment and education. For instance, governments can work out practical solutions to supervise climate change by utilizing cutting-edge apparatus such as carbon footprint measuring or greenhouse gases supervising systems.

However, I assume that not merely science but also other social aspects need financial support. First and foremost, education is one of the most vital sectors that is worthwhile to fund. The prosperity or decay of a nation hinges on the caliber and potential of its people who are accessible with high-quality educational institutions from early ages. Furthermore, infrastructure is also a concerning issue. To ensure the safety and convenience for the citizens during their daily living and working, governments should invest more in public places, transportation and living spaces. Such upgrades not only nurture citizens’ mental and physical well-being but also lay a solid foundation for sustainable national growth.

In conclusion, while scientific research is undeniably crucial for technological advancement and problem-solving, I disagree that it should receive a disproportionately larger share of funding. A balanced financial investment across both science and other fields is essential, as the humanities and society are equally vital for the comprehensive development.

Word Count: 304

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

scientific: 4

other: 4

living: 4

should: 3

research: 3

fields: 3

science: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position, but the development of ideas could be more precise and focused. The introduction and conclusion are somewhat contradictory: the introduction says you 'view this opinion somewhat favorably,' while the conclusion states you 'disagree that it should receive a disproportionately larger share of funding.' This inconsistency weakens the clarity of your position. To improve, ensure your position is consistent throughout. Additionally, while you provide examples, they are not fully developed. For instance, the example about climate change could be more specific. Aim to extend your ideas with more detailed explanations and concrete examples to strengthen your argument.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The argument is presented logically, and paragraphing is managed effectively. However, there are minor lapses in cohesion, such as the transition between the first and second body paragraphs, which could be smoother. The use of cohesive devices is generally appropriate, but some sentences feel slightly abrupt. To improve, ensure that each paragraph flows naturally into the next and that the connection between ideas is explicit.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary with some sophisticated choices, such as 'groundbreaking discoveries,' 'inclusive development,' and 'sustainable national growth.' However, there are occasional inaccuracies and awkward phrasings, such as 'The foundation of the notion occurs' and 'supervising systems,' which could be more precise. To enhance lexical resource, focus on using more natural collocations and refining word choices to ensure clarity and precision.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay shows a good variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences and conditional forms. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that affect overall accuracy, such as 'The foundation of the notion occurs' and 'to lessen the burden of daily living and manufacturing.' Additionally, some sentences are overly long and could be broken down for clarity. To improve, pay attention to subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence structure to enhance grammatical accuracy.

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