Discussion

Band 4+: some people see that the internet brought people closer. others deny that, saying that the internet made communities more and more isolated. discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is argued by some individuals that internet is the way to close in together. While, others think that it has lead to separate people and their communications. In this essay I will discuss both side.

There are some reasons for divided people to bring close together. One possible reason is that in this modern era it is so common to talk people using internet. Other side is that in the world individuals can communicate by using internet. It is easy and covenant for this reason people can came close. In addition, there are several side in the internet such as facebook tuitouer, and so on. Use this types of web side bring individuals in close together. For example, in this era only way to communicate by using internet around the world .

On the other side, although using internet bring close in toghetare but in some way it has lead a harmful. One major reason is that older people can not use it properly so that they can not communicate each other. Use internet is easy on the other side it is so harmful those people who do not how to use internet. In some way adult children use internet to play video came and watch movies after that they addicated on it. For instance, children are addictade on it so that they do not have time to communicated with their friend

In conclusion, some cases internet can bring close in together and some cases it can separet people from communicate. Moreover it depend on people prospective.

Word Count: 258

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

internet: 10

people: 8

close: 6

together: 4

bring: 4

using: 4

other: 4

communicate: 4

individuals: 3

reason: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative impacts of the internet on social connection. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and lacks sufficient detail. The essay would benefit from clearer explanations and more specific examples to support the arguments presented. The language used contains errors that occasionally impede understanding. To improve, focus on developing each point more fully with relevant examples and ensuring grammatical accuracy.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay lacks clear organization and logical flow. The ideas are not well-connected, and the paragraphing is weak. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are often missing or ineffective, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on using clear topic sentences, providing supporting evidence for each point, and using transition words and phrases to connect ideas.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, with frequent repetition of simple words and phrases. There are also instances of inaccurate word choice and usage. To enhance lexical resource, try to use a wider variety of vocabulary, including synonyms and more precise terms. Pay attention to collocations and idiomatic expressions to make your writing sound more natural. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including errors in sentence structure, verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and punctuation. These errors significantly impede understanding. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Proofread your work carefully to identify and correct errors.

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