Opinion

Band 4+: Some people that traditional games are better than modern games helping for children progress their abilities To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In today’s society, the development of children has become a prominent concern. There is a belief held by some individuals that traditional games are more beneficial than modern games when it comes to enhancing children’s abilities. In my opinion, I am in full agreement with this assertion. This essay will delve into the various reasons supporting this viewpoint, and it will elucidate why I hold the belief that traditional games offer advantages to children in fostering their abilities. The primary argument to justify my stance is that individuals belonging to earlier generations tend to grasp concepts more rapidly compared to modern individuals, resulting in superior physical and mental development.

Furthermore, an additional supporting point that bolsters this claim is the notion that modern games have a detrimental impact on children. The continuous exposure to such games hinders the complete development of children.

In conclusion, there is a school of thought that favors traditional games over modern ones in aiding children to enhance their cognitive abilities. I contend that the aforementioned points strongly underpin my perspective.

Word Count: 175

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

games: 6

children: 4

modern: 4

individuals: 3

traditional: 3

abilities: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

4.5

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the belief that traditional games are better than modern games for children's progress. The position is clear and fully developed, presenting reasons to support the agreement. However, the essay could benefit from providing more specific examples or evidence to further strengthen the argument. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

4.5

The essay is generally coherent and cohesive, with a logical progression of ideas. The introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are well-structured. To improve coherence, consider using transition words and phrases to better connect ideas and enhance the flow of the essay.

Lexical Resource

4.5

There is a good range of vocabulary used throughout the essay. However, to achieve a higher score, try incorporating more varied and sophisticated vocabulary to demonstrate a deeper control of lexical resources. Additionally, ensure that all vocabulary is used accurately and appropriately.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

4.5

The essay demonstrates a wide range of grammatical structures with mostly accurate use of punctuation and grammar. To improve accuracy, pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and sentence structure complexity. Proofreading for minor errors can help enhance the overall grammatical accuracy.

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