Discussion

Band 4+: Some people think that spending a lot of money on wedding parties and other celebrations is just a waste. Others, however, think that such events are necessary, so spending money on them is acceptable. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

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It is commnly asserted that spending a lot of money on wedding programs and other parties is just a waste. others, but belive that such events are important, so spending money on them is acceptable.

In detail, on the first hand it is acceptable because if someone has a lot of money if he spents millions on his parties and other celebrations and he does not feel anything that he spent money on parties and other programs so it is accepable.another solid reason is that if there is very special or if your very close relative he or she is getting married so still it is acceptable. for example my uncle was getting married and all his brothers came from london just to attend his wedding program why because it was a special program and also very close relation and all my uncles spend a lot of money on him. In addition, my eldest uncle bought brand new fortuner car which is aproximately 20 million pkr. he has a lot of money so he spent moreover they gave very top class party.

on the other hand it is not acceptable because if someone he or she has not a lot of money or they are broke so they should not spent money on every single party or any type of celebration. In addition, some people do spent money on parties just to show off even though they do not have money so it is just a waste of money and according to my point of view i would say that spent money on celebrations and parties on limit and also enjoy parties and spent your money according to your limit if you do not have sufficient money and budget so you should not spent money on parties and other celebration

Word Count: 300

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

money: 15

parties: 7

spent: 7

other: 5

acceptable: 3

because: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by discussing both views and providing an opinion. However, the ideas presented lack clarity and could benefit from more precise support. The examples provided are somewhat generic and could be strengthened with more specific details. To improve, focus on developing clearer arguments and providing more concrete evidence to support your claims. Also, ensure that your opinion is clearly stated and consistently supported throughout the essay.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay lacks clear organization and logical flow. The ideas are not well-connected, and the paragraphing is not effective. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are weak, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. To improve, focus on structuring your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Use transition words and phrases to link your ideas and ensure each paragraph has a central topic supported by relevant details.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is limited and often inaccurate. There are instances of incorrect word choice and imprecise language. To enhance your lexical resource, try to use a wider range of vocabulary that is appropriate for the topic. Focus on learning synonyms and collocations to express your ideas more accurately and effectively. Also, pay attention to the correct usage of words in context. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and sentence structure problems. These errors significantly impede understanding. To improve, concentrate on mastering basic grammar rules and sentence structures. Practice writing simple sentences and gradually progress to more complex structures as your accuracy improves. Proofread your work carefully to identify and correct errors.

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