Opinion

Band 5+: Some people think that students should study all subjects at school while others claim that they need to choose the ones that they good at or find interesting.

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It is believed that children should study all subjects in curriculum, while others ague that they should be allowed to choose what subjects to study base on their strong point. In this essay, I am going to discuss both views and give my opinion.

First, the benefits of allowing students to develop in their favorite field are undeniable. It provides students with unlimited motivation to pursue their goals without feeling bored. Moreover, it also assists them in keeping concentrate on particular aim that helps students save times and be able to enhance comprehensively in the subject they choose. As a result, students can become particularly outstanding on their own strength.

However, focusing too much on some specific subjects may lead to lacking in experience and missing great opportunities. Therefore, studying all subjects equally is much more effective. In daily life and working life, each aspect of them require knowledge from combination of various subjects to solve them. For example, a doctor not only needs to study well at biology and math but they also have to learn about IT and sometime a little imagination from art class helps them a lot. In addition, if students just only study the subjects that they feel interested, they will soon find it difficult to work and study higher because their foundation is not strong enough to support them.

In conclusion, from my perspective, I strongly believe students should learn full subjects. Even though they not good at some, it still better than give them up. In any case, understanding all subjects will be more excellent than being good at one.

Word Count: 267

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

subjects: 8

students: 6

study: 5

their: 5

should: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt and presents a clear position that is maintained throughout the response. The ideas are relevant, and the writer provides good supporting examples, such as the role of a doctor, to illustrate the necessity of a broad curriculum. To improve the score, focus on the depth of idea development. While the points made are valid, some arguments could be extended further to show more nuance (for example, explaining *why* a lack of foundation specifically hinders higher education). Additionally, refining grammatical accuracy - specifically subject-verb agreement and the use of articles - would help ensure that the ideas are communicated with greater precision.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You have used transition words like 'First', 'However', 'Therefore', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. However, the progression of ideas within paragraphs is sometimes interrupted by grammatical inaccuracies. To improve, ensure that each sentence flows logically into the next and avoid repetitive sentence structures. Work on using more sophisticated cohesive devices beyond simple linkers to create a smoother transition between ideas.

Lexical Resource

You have used some relevant vocabulary such as 'undeniable', 'motivation', and 'foundation'. However, there are several instances of incorrect word choices and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'keeping concentrate', 'enhance comprehensively', 'learn full subjects'). There is also a tendency to repeat certain words. To reach a higher band, aim to use a wider range of academic vocabulary and focus on collocations (words that naturally go together) to ensure your expression sounds more natural and precise. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally hinder the reader's understanding. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('each aspect... require'), incorrect preposition usage ('study well at biology'), and missing verbs/articles ('they not good at', 'it still better than give them up'). While you attempt complex sentences, the control over these structures is inconsistent. I recommend focusing on fundamental grammar rules, particularly verb tenses, sentence structure, and the use of gerunds/infinitives, to ensure your meaning is communicated clearly.

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Task Response

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Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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