Opinion

Band 5+: Some say that the Internet is making the world smaller by bringing people together. To what extent do to you agree that the Internet is making it easier for people to communicate with one another?

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It is undeniable that nowadays most people using internet is enhancing and it easy to connect people. As a consequence the world is turning into a global village. But I strongly disagree with the opinion of everybody will think and behave in the same way.

Modern technology made internet easy to use. Because people can use internet via a smartphone and a good network. As a result, users of internet increasing day by day. Moreover, social media has made connectivity at its peak. To cite an example, people can easily share their thoughts by using Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and many more. Furthermore, video chatting and text chatting can transfer news in second of time. Therefore, it is undeniable that internet will soon convert the world into a global village.

On the other hand internet has some limitation also. It can not change the cultural belief of humans. Every inhabitant of this world have their own culture and lifestyle. So the behaviour of any individual depends on their trend, culture and what part of the world they are living. Internet has very little impact on this.

To sum up, it is evident that internet has becoming a great phenomena and it increasing connectivity among people, but it can not change people’s behaviour. However, it completely depends on their own culture, history and heritage.

Word Count: 222

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

internet: 8

people: 5

world: 4

their: 4

culture: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a position. However, the ideas lack clarity and could be more developed. To improve, focus on providing more specific examples and elaborating on the limitations of the internet in changing cultural beliefs. Also, ensure that your arguments are clearly linked to the prompt. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates a generally clear progression of ideas, but the connections between some sentences and paragraphs could be strengthened. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to improve the flow and clarity of your arguments. For instance, in the second paragraph, explicitly linking the increasing internet usage to the idea of a 'global village' would enhance coherence. The introduction could also benefit from a clearer thesis statement that directly addresses the extent of your agreement or disagreement.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of precision and sophistication. Try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more accurately. For example, instead of 'enhancing,' consider using 'facilitating' or 'improving.' Also, be mindful of using collocations naturally; for instance, 'connectivity at its peak' could be rephrased for better impact. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors are noticeable and impact clarity. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, article usage, and correct tense formation. For example, 'most people using internet is enhancing' should be revised to 'most people using the internet are enhancing' or similar. Proofreading carefully for these errors will significantly improve your score.

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