Opinion

Band 4+: The chart illustrates the amount of money spent on five consumer goods (cars, computers, books, perfume and cameras) in France and the UK in 2010. Units are measured in pounds sterling

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The bar chart illustrates data on how people from the UK and France spent their money on different products in 2010. All prices measured in pounds sterling.

Overall, cars were the most popular products in both countries. Furthermore, people in the UK spent more money on cars, books and cameras compared to French people. Moreover, France had a higher expenditure on computers and perfumes.

Citizens in the UK invested more money on cars, books and cameras, which accounted for £450000, £400000 and £350000 respectively. In comparison, French individuals spent £400000, £300000 and £150000 respectively on the same products during the same year.

On the other hand, French people led the purchases on perfumes and computers during 2010. French citizens had spent approximatively £360000 on computers, which is slightly higer than the UK’s expenditure by roughly £30000. Expenditure on perfumes was £200000 in France and a little under £150000 in the UK.

Word Count: 151

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 4

spent: 4

french: 4

france: 3

money: 3

products: 3

expenditure: 3

computers: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The response addresses the prompt appropriately by summarizing the information presented in the bar chart. A clear overview is provided, and the main features of the data are identified. However, there could be more precision in supporting the ideas with specific data. To improve, focus on providing more detailed comparisons and ensuring that all key features of the chart are addressed with accurate figures. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay presents a generally clear overview of the data, but the organization could be improved for better flow. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. For instance, transition words could be used to signal comparisons or contrasts more effectively. Paragraphing is generally adequate, but ensure each paragraph focuses on a single, clear aspect of the data.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of precision and variety. Try to use more specific vocabulary related to financial expenditure and consumer goods. For example, instead of 'spent their money,' you could use 'allocated funds' or 'invested capital.' Also, avoid overuse of simple words like 'popular' and aim for more sophisticated alternatives. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a fair range of grammatical structures, but there are noticeable errors that affect clarity. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct use of articles, and accurate preposition usage. For example, 'slightly higer' should be 'slightly higher,' and 'approximatively' should be 'approximately.' Proofreading carefully for these types of errors will improve your score.

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