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Band 4+: The natural resources such as oil, forests and freshwater are being consumed at an alarming rate. What problems does this cause? How can we solve these problems?

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The vital resources for life are used by a large number, as it creates a new cause for the environment and society’s quality of life.The aim of the essay explains the factors which contribute to nature and why people are applying the generated resources without any accounts and examples that suggest practical measures to address them. .

The main reason why this part of spheres is removed and their number declined rapidly in life is the demographic data. However, it depends on the country’s population.Because the amount of people is rising at the moment.The megapolicy city in the world wastes their crucial arsenal for life. Governments improve qualification of people’s live in the all part of world is contribute to application that affect on equal between nature and people . For instance, in China, the population is the biggest as in India as a result of the consumption being larger than European countries. Moreover, fabrics use the forest for resort places and wood that is made as paper, furniture and items for daily live.Simillary, oil is used by fabric and pumps out waste.

One effective way to address this problem is to make some law that should save the consuming oil, forest and water. The increase of applications will dip and also the number of people using nature will decline. Another way to solve it is to create a device for calculating the pace. It will be a beneficial decision for the government and the level of oil, water and forest will climb to peak. Similarly open the government project that improves nature. For example,in Kazakhstan,this program called ‘Taza Kazakhstan’ aimed at planting young trees and green plants and with this programme the students in NIS created a project that calculates the quality of oil and water in use.

In conclusion, dramatic employment of the natural resource is first of all grown by using without calculating the application and population data.Nevertheless,this issue can be mitigated by intensive work on development that observe the usings and add new programs or projects that will refine the introducing.

Word Count: 345

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

nature: 4

people: 4

number: 3

forest: 3

water: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt, presenting a position and relevant ideas. However, the clarity of these ideas could be improved, and the supporting details sometimes lack precision. To improve, focus on developing each point more fully with specific examples and clearer explanations. Also, ensure that the connection between your ideas and the overall argument is evident.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates some attempt at organization, but the ideas are often presented in a disjointed manner, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. Paragraphing is present, but the connections between sentences and paragraphs are weak. Transitions are either missing or used inappropriately, hindering the flow of information. To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on using clear topic sentences, logical transitions, and ensuring that each paragraph develops a single, focused idea.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, and there are instances of inaccurate word choice. While the vocabulary is generally relevant to the topic, the lack of precision and sophistication affects the overall clarity and impact of the writing. To enhance lexical resource, try to incorporate a wider variety of synonyms and idiomatic expressions, and pay close attention to the correct usage of words in context. Focus on learning and using more specific and nuanced vocabulary related to environmental issues and solutions. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including issues with sentence structure, verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. These errors frequently impede understanding and detract from the overall quality of the writing. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, concentrate on mastering basic grammatical rules and sentence structures. Practice writing simple and complex sentences correctly, and carefully proofread your work to identify and correct errors. Consider focusing on specific areas of weakness, such as verb tenses or article usage, and work on improving them through targeted exercises and practice.

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