Opinion

Band 4+: The rise of artificial intelligence and automation is causing concerns about job displacement in various industries. What problems arise from this situation, and what solutions can be implemented to help individuals and societies adapt to a changing job market?

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Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

The significant improvement of artificial intelligence is affecting people’s ordinary lives, causing someone to lose their job. This is because AI is faster and more efficient than humans, thankfully, there are measures that can be taken to help people.

The main reason why companies replace people to AI is the they are works faster and efficient. The inventors created AI to receiving and solving information imidiately, and companies took advantage of their productivity. Furthermore, some bussiness companies already replace people to conscious robot. For example, in Japan and China, instead of people working robot as a waiter. It is because robots does not require salary and works quickly.

It is important, however, that steps are taken to minimise the displacement in the labor. First and foremost, government needs to take action, provide unemployment benefits during transitions and hepling individuals find occupational as people live conditions may decrease significantly. Supporting from the govenment side is essential for individuals, it may be help citizens get out of a challenging situation. Moreover, people can feel support from government and starting work hard. Government also can offer tax ncentives for businesses that retain employees. It may help some companies change their opinions and hiring more people. As a result, citizens can find occupation and the countries living conditions increased.

In conclusion, driven by government peope can find occuption and companies may start reducing the number of AI.

Word Count: 233

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 6

companies: 5

government: 4

their: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt (causes and solutions), and a position is present. However, the development of ideas is limited. The causes are mentioned (speed and efficiency), but the explanation is somewhat repetitive. The solutions provided are relevant, but the development of how these measures would work is superficial. To improve, you should aim to expand on your ideas by providing more depth. For example, instead of just stating that governments should provide benefits, explain how this helps the economy or how retraining programs could bridge the gap between old skills and new AI-driven roles. Additionally, ensure that your conclusions are more robust; the current conclusion is quite brief and does not fully summarize the main points discussed in the body paragraphs. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas is often interrupted by grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Some sentences are fragmented (e.g., 'instead of people working robot as a waiter'), which disrupts the flow of information. To improve, focus on using cohesive devices (like 'consequently', 'as a result', or 'in addition') more naturally and ensure that each sentence is a complete thought that logically connects to the next.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is quite limited and repetitive (e.g., frequent use of 'people', 'government', and 'work'). There are several spelling errors ('imidiately', 'bussiness', 'ncentives', 'occuption') and incorrect word choices ('replace people to AI' instead of 'replace people with AI'). To reach a higher band, aim to use a wider range of synonyms and more precise academic vocabulary. For example, instead of 'change their opinions', you could use 'reconsider their recruitment strategies'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and often impede the reader's understanding. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('robots does not require'), verb tense consistency, and sentence structure ('the they are works faster'). There is also a lack of complex sentence structures. I recommend focusing on mastering basic sentence construction, correct preposition usage, and subject-verb agreement before attempting more complex grammatical forms. Practicing the use of relative clauses and subordinate clauses will also help improve your range.

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