Positive And Negative

Band 5+: These days, if people have health problems, many do not visit doctors. They try to get better at home by themselves. Is this a positive or negative development? Напижи на это хссе

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Nowadays, people do not visit doctors and tend to stay at home and try to get better when they are sick. I strongly believe that this is a negative development since it can cause huge health issues later and trying to get better at home can increase the risk of life for them and others which will be discussed with examples before reaching to a concrete conclusion.

To begin with, statying at house when people have health troubles without getting any consultation can increase the sickness. For instance, In Sri Lanka, it is reported that annually 100 of ICU cases were recorded due to lack or early treatments for Dengue desease. According to statistical data, 20% of death cases were reported because of ignoring neccessary early treatments. Thus it is clear that remaining at household when individuals have diseases is a negative impact.

Not only that, it is right to say that, this concern increases the risk of the life because if they try with a wrong treatment while trying to get better at living quarters, the sickness can risk their life. To cite an example, in 2019 it was reported 3000 Corona cases that those were getting pills that are not suppose to get for the Corona. And recent researchers reveal that this his huge problem in modern society. Hence I strongly believe that this is a harmful impact.

To conlcude, I would like to reiterate that causing later huge health issue and risking life by staying at home without doctor consulation is a damaging issue in the soceity.

Word Count: 260

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

better: 3

health: 3

reported: 3

cases: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position that self-treatment is a negative development. The main ideas are relevant and supported with examples, but the development lacks depth and precision. There are some lapses in clarity and coherence, and the examples could be more fully explained. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, develop ideas with more specific details and logical reasoning, and proofread for grammatical errors and word choice.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear overall structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear connections between ideas. For example, the transition from the first body paragraph to the second could be smoother. The use of cohesive devices is basic and occasionally repetitive (e.g., 'To begin with', 'Not only that', 'To conclude'). To improve, work on using a wider range of linking words and phrases, and ensure each paragraph logically follows from the previous one. Also, avoid abrupt shifts in focus.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate but limited and sometimes imprecise. There are several spelling errors (e.g., 'statying', 'desease', 'neccessary', 'consulation', 'soceity') and word choice issues (e.g., 'living quarters' instead of 'home', 'damaging issue' instead of 'serious problem'). The essay would benefit from using more specific and varied vocabulary related to health and consequences. For instance, instead of 'huge health issues', consider 'serious medical complications'. Try to incorporate more sophisticated terms naturally, such as 'self-medication', 'deterioration', or 'public health risk'. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains a number of grammatical errors that affect clarity. These include subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'this his huge problem'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'are not suppose to get'), and missing articles (e.g., 'in modern society'). Sentence structures are mostly simple or compound, with limited use of complex sentences. To improve, practice using a mix of sentence types, including conditional clauses and relative clauses. Also, proofread carefully to eliminate basic errors in tense, agreement, and word form. For example, 'statying' should be 'staying', and 'desease' should be 'disease'.

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Band 5+: These days, if people have health problems, many do not visit doctors. They try to get better at home by themselves. Is this a positive or negative development? Напижи на это хссе

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These days, if people have health problems, many do not visit doctors. They try to get better at home by themselves. Is this a positive or negative development? Напижи на это хссе

These days, if people have health problems, many do not visit doctors. They try to get better at home by themselves. Is this a positive or negative development? Напижи на это хссе

These days, if people have health problems, many do not visit doctors. They try to get better at home by themselves. Is this a positive or negative development? Напижи на это хссе

These days, if people have health problems, many do not visit doctors. They try to get better at home by themselves. Is this a positive or negative development? Напижи на это хссе

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