Positive And Negative

Band 4+: These days, if people have health problems, many do not visit doctors. They try to get better at home by themselves. Is this a positive or negative development? Напижи на это хссе

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Nowadays a lot of people have issues with their physical and mental healthy. Some of them prefer to have an appoitment to the hospital rather than others want to spend time at home without doctor’s treatment. I strongly believe that citizents with pain need to visit doctors anyway and I will try to descuss my point of view in this essay.

First of all, it is a very common mistake to think that any problem with health will disappear without special measures. Nevertheless, a huge damage brings treatment without medicine recipes and doctor’s appoitment. People that prefer to ignore the modern medicine, often have different side effects after the illness. As a result, they must to visit hospital anyway but sometimes it can leads to negative consequencies.

Secondly, regular visiting doctors can help people to prevent a lot of issues with health. For example, it is really helpfull to predict some deseases before their debut. Furthermore, the doctor’s hour consultation is not an overprise. That is why it is very important to visit doctor once for six month.

In addition, the treatment at home can provide to getting worsen the health of husband or wife or kids at the one close space. Moreover, this is dangerous for the elderly people. For instance, they unresistable to a lot of deseases and can have huge problems with their health.

In conclusion, it is really important to visit doctors if you feel problems with self-being because it will provide to sucsess in your future long healthy life.

Word Count: 254

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 4

visit: 4

their: 3

without: 3

doctor's: 3

treatment: 3

doctors: 3

health: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by discussing whether self-treatment at home is positive or negative, and presents a clear position against it. However, the development of ideas lacks precision and clarity in places, with some repetition and minor irrelevance (e.g., the point about family members and elderly people is not fully connected to the core argument). The supporting ideas are relevant but could be more focused and better extended. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea that is directly linked to the prompt, and provide more specific examples or evidence to strengthen the argument. Additionally, avoid vague statements and improve the logical flow between points.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear overall structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear connections between sentences. For example, the transition from the first body paragraph to the second could be smoother. The use of cohesive devices is basic and occasionally repetitive. To improve, work on using a wider range of linking words and phrases (e.g., 'furthermore', 'moreover', 'in addition') more naturally, and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea that is fully developed.

Lexical Resource

The essay attempts to use some topic-specific vocabulary (e.g., 'treatment', 'side effects', 'prevent'), but there are frequent errors in word choice and spelling (e.g., 'healthy' instead of 'health', 'appoitment' instead of 'appointment', 'descuss' instead of 'discuss', 'helpfull' instead of 'helpful', 'deseases' instead of 'diseases', 'overprise' instead of 'overpriced', 'unresistable' instead of 'susceptible'). The range of vocabulary is limited, and some expressions are not idiomatic (e.g., 'citizents with pain'). To improve, expand your vocabulary by reading more academic texts and practice using words accurately in context. Focus on correcting common spelling mistakes. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity. These include subject-verb agreement errors (e.g., 'it can leads'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'must to visit'), misuse of articles (e.g., 'the doctor's hour consultation'), and awkward sentence structures (e.g., 'the treatment at home can provide to getting worsen'). There is some attempt to use complex sentences, but they are often flawed. To improve, review basic grammar rules, particularly verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and the use of modals. Practice writing sentences with a mix of simple and complex structures, and proofread carefully to catch errors.

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