Opinion

Band 5+: With the rise of social media, some argue that individuals are losing the ability to form meaningful relationships in the real world. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What can be done to encourage real-life connections?

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In recent years, social networks has seen a huge rise. However, some people argue that this trend is a negative impact as it detaches an individual from the real world.I firmly believe that iinternet is affecting peoples life. This essay will explore the reasons supporting the perspective.

The Primary reason for my stance is beacuse it keeps one away from the magic of actual life, and it also makes an individual suffer from physical health conditions.For instance, if a person has a sedantary lifestyle it causes many problems, such as obesity and depression.Furthermore, it also keeps a person in a cage, which eventually keeps them away from real world and has no knowledge of current situations going on around.

On the other hand, It also has impact on your networking and your family relationships. Research has shown that if a person is non stop on social sites, his real life connections are not strong and also lacks family responsibilities. For instance, last week there was a news article stating that a child was travelling with his uncle, was so busy using his phone that he lost his uncle in crowd. Hence, this is significantly evident that people forget to be in touch with their loved once while using their internet.

In conclusion, although social media is the need of the generation but we should not forgte to take care of our health and the ones who have raised us since childhood. I am convinced that internet community has a negative impact on todays world.

Word Count: 254

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

social: 3

impact: 3

keeps: 3

person: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a position. The main ideas are relevant but lack clarity and sufficient development. To improve, provide more specific examples and elaborate on the potential consequences of decreased real-world connection. Also, ensure that your arguments are clearly linked to the central question.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates some organization, but the progression of ideas is not always clear. Paragraphing is present, but could be used more effectively to separate distinct points. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are sometimes weak, making it harder for the reader to follow the argument. For example, the shift from discussing physical health to networking and family relationships in the second and third paragraphs could be smoother. Consider using more explicit linking words and phrases to connect ideas and improve the overall flow.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, and there are instances of imprecise word choice. For example, 'internet is affecting peoples life' could be phrased more accurately. There is also some repetition of words and phrases. To improve, try to use a wider range of vocabulary and pay attention to the nuances of word meanings. Use a thesaurus to find synonyms and avoid repetition. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including issues with subject-verb agreement ('social networks has seen'), verb tense ('iinternet is affecting peoples life'), and article usage. Sentence structure is often simple and lacks complexity. There are also errors in punctuation. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and practice writing more complex sentences. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors.

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Band 5+: With the rise of social media, some argue that individuals are losing the ability to form meaningful relationships in the real world. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What can be done to encourage real-life connections?

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Essays On The Same Topic:

With the rise of social media, some argue that individuals are losing the ability to form meaningful relationships in the real world. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What can be done to encourage real-life connections?

With the rise of social media, some argue that individuals are losing the ability to form meaningful relationships in the real world. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What can be done to encourage real-life connections?

With the rise of social media, some argue that individuals are losing the ability to form meaningful relationships in the real world. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What can be done to encourage real-life connections?

With the rise of social media, some argue that individuals are losing the ability to form meaningful relationships in the real world. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What can be done to encourage real-life connections?

Other Topics:

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Tourism has been a good source of revenue in many countries and the government should promote the industry. Do you agree or disagree?

In some cities cars are replacing bicycles but some people are choosing bicycles in some cities Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

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Coherence & Cohesion

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