Opinion

Band 5+: With traffic jams and pollution increasing every year in big cities, some people say that public transport should be free in big cities to help reduce these problems which are caused by cars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The debate that public transport should be completely free has been going on since forever. Some people believe that free public transport would help decrease traffics jams and pollution caused by cars in big cities. Even though it can help in reducing these issue to some extent, I strongly disagree with this notion because, it will give rise to other problems like strain on government funds and safety and security issues in public transport.

First and foremost, making transport completely free would not mean that all people will use it. Some people who belong to lower or working class would utilize it but the people who can afford private transport would prefer to go by there own commodity rather than by bus or transport which means the pollution and traffic issues will be still there. Furthermore, to provide free mode of transportation would require large sum of money which would put a huge strain on government funds. To meet this need government would impose taxes on people which will make the cost of living much higher for people. Therefore I believe that instead of making the transport completely free government should decrease the fair so that people could afford, which will put less strain on government, as well as improve the transport standards so people would prefer using public transport instead of private.

Additionally, with completely free transportation can cause safety and security issues as the buses and trains would be overcrowded as too many people might be using them which will lead to uncomfortable and packed rides. These packed situations can lead to different situations like accidents for instance breath shortening. Moreover it can give rise to pic pocketers too.

In conclusion, while free transport can reduce traffic jams and pollution in big cities to some level, but I strongly belief that it will make huge strain on government and people in this decreasing economy and can cause security issues too. So Instead of making transport completely free government should make the standard of transportation better so more people will prefer using public transport.

Word Count: 345

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

transport: 11

people: 11

would: 9

government: 7

public: 5

completely: 5

which: 5

strain: 4

issues: 4

should: 3

pollution: 3

security: 3

making: 3

prefer: 3

transportation: 3

instead: 3

using: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay appropriately addresses the main parts of the prompt, presenting a clear position of disagreement. Ideas are relevant and supported with reasons such as strain on government funds, safety issues, and limited impact on car users. However, there are some lapses in precision and development. For example, the argument that free transport would not reduce pollution because wealthy people would still use cars could be more fully explored. Additionally, the suggestion to lower fares and improve standards is mentioned but not elaborated. To improve, ensure each main idea is clearly extended with specific examples or further explanation, and avoid minor errors like 'traffics jams' and 'pic pocketers'.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear overall structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas could be smoother. Some sentences are long and run-on, making the message harder to follow. For example, the sentence 'To meet this need government would impose taxes on people which will make the cost of living much higher for people' could be broken into two. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat repetitive (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'Additionally', 'Moreover'). Try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases, and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea that is developed logically. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more concise.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses some good vocabulary (e.g., 'strain on government funds', 'cost of living', 'overcrowded'), but there are several errors and awkward phrases. For instance, 'traffics jams' should be 'traffic jams', 'there own commodity' should be 'their own vehicles', 'decrease the fair' should be 'decrease the fare', 'pic pocketers' should be 'pickpockets', and 'breath shortening' is unclear. The phrase 'since forever' is too informal for an academic essay. To improve, use more precise and formal vocabulary, and avoid colloquialisms. Also, vary your word choices to avoid repetition (e.g., 'transport' is used many times). Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Examples include: 'these issue' (should be 'these issues'), 'it will give rise to other problems like strain' (comma splice), 'people who can afford private transport would prefer to go by there own commodity' (incorrect word 'there' and 'commodity'), 'government would impose taxes on people which will make' (missing comma before 'which'), 'with completely free transportation can cause' (incorrect structure), 'I strongly belief' (should be 'believe'). There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage. To improve, focus on sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and correct use of articles. Proofreading carefully can help catch these errors.

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