Opinion

Band 6+: Write about the following topic: Some people think that housing facilities should be built in the vacant areas of cities and towns, while others believe that parks should be set instead. Planting trees is very important for the environment. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

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Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

Due to expanding population, there is an increase in the growth of urbanization. People think every space should be used as housing facilities to provide facilities for the population, but some believe there should be parks instead of housing.

On one hand, parks are the natural setting that provide fresh air to breathe, open space to walk and a place to socialize with other people. There are several benefits to having a park around one’s house namely, it keeps the surrounding cool and absorbing carbon-dioxide available in the atmosphere. It aids in reducing the pollution around it. But if the parks are being built in a natural setting that is already a green space and providing all the benefits one can then it would be a show case thing to build a park.

Housing is the necessity for a city to grow in every aspect be it economically, socially and culturally. It boosts the economic growth of a city, brings new businesses, and attracts people from different regions. It helps a city expand further. However, it also causes various problems, for instance urban heat islands, solid waste management, traffic congestion, and rapid emission of greenhouse gases. Using all the space to create houses only will create resource pressure on the land and lead to different severe challenges.

Rounding off, I would say that there should be a balance between both. Housing is crucial to providing facilities for people living there. But it should be integrated with parks and more blue-green spaces to create ecofriendly living spaces. Meanwhile, following all the environmental laws provided by the State.

Word Count: 266

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

there: 5

people: 4

space: 4

should: 4

parks: 4

facilities: 3

create: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt, presenting a clear position that a balance between housing and parks is needed. The arguments are relevant and supported with some examples, but the development could be more precise and focused. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and expand on how the balance can be achieved, providing more specific examples or evidence. Also, avoid vague statements and ensure the conclusion directly answers the question about agreeing or disagreeing with the importance of planting trees.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is generally well-organized with clear paragraphs for each main point. The introduction presents the topic, and the conclusion offers a balanced view. However, the flow could be improved by using more cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. For example, the transition from the first body paragraph to the second could be smoother. Additionally, the final paragraph could be more conclusive, summarizing the main points more explicitly.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a good range of vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'urbanization', 'natural setting', 'economic growth', 'urban heat islands', and 'blue-green spaces'. There are some instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'a show case thing' and 'resource pressure', which could be rephrased for more natural and precise language. Overall, the vocabulary is adequate but could be more sophisticated and varied. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several errors that affect clarity. For example, 'Due to expanding population, there is an increase in the growth of urbanization' is redundant and could be simplified. Also, 'it keeps the surrounding cool and absorbing carbon-dioxide' has a parallel structure issue. The final sentence 'Meanwhile, following all the environmental laws provided by the State' is a fragment. Improving accuracy and sentence structure will enhance the overall quality.

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