The parent-child relationship changes in different stages of life. In my opinion, the primary role of parents should shift as their children reach adulthood: firstly, to avoid over-care, and secondly, to temper their expectations for deep affection.
Parents’ first role is to foster a healthy separation in their children. In Asian cultures to a large extent, parents commonly continue living with one of their sons even when he gets married. They take too much care and instead of letting go, parents feel that their adult son and his family are still somehow dependent on them and even continue providing their son’s family financially. Furthermore, grandmothers in these families often interfere with the upbringing of their grandchildren which may generally seem to be good, but in fact, they often prevent mothers from implementing their own parenting styles. Consequently, when parents pass away, adult children may stay in a childish position and never become fully independent. Most unfortunately, such people will continue the chain of not letting go in their own children.
In some other cultures, on the other hand, the reverse situation happens – parents become over connected to their adult children. They expect excessive attention and want their children to reciprocate all the care they have provided. Apart from situations involving illness or severe financial difficulty, parents should lead independent lives without undue expectations from their children. Parents have to understand that they do not bring up a servant or provider for themselves, but their primary role is to raise an individual useful to society. One problem which arises from high expectations of parents is a constant stressful atmosphere at home. Trying to cope with daily pressures coming from parents, adult children may simply underperform at work and have problems in their professional life as well.
In conclusion, understanding and adapting to their evolving role within the family hierarchy is crucial for parents as their children reach adulthood.