Discussion

Band 4+: You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people think all lawbreakers should be sent to prison, while others think there are better alternatives for those whose crimes are minor, such as making them do work for the local community. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 250 words.

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Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

Some people believe that all voillators should be sent to prison for minor voilations while other argue that there are better alternatives for those whose crimes are minor, such as making them do work for the local community. In my opinion, both perspectives carry weight and a balanced approach is necessary.

Initially, if someone is sent to prison who voilates traffic rules which are basic crimes. As a result, his family suffer from ecnomic crisis because there would be nobody to earn for there family and some people also became against there country and do much more crimes in future. Consequently, almost 90% voilaters does not break laws because he know his family would face a downfall due to his minor voilaation.

On the other hand, other individuals think that prosoners should not be sent to law braker cells but it does not mean government should forgive them. government should punish them to do some social work. For instnce i had listen that there are smaller number of prison cells in China thay sent prisons to abroad countries where they can earn and support there families and there would be no financial burden on them. tere are also some alternatives such as fining voilaters and raising fine. for example if someone fights and fine is 500$ so government should increase it from 500 to 900$ and making them to do social work.

To conclude, it is difficult to favor one view over the other as both play a crucial role. However there are certaain benfits and drawbacks of these belives but In my opinion there benifits outwieghs than drawbacks

Word Count: 269

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

there: 9

should: 5

other: 4

prison: 3

minor: 3

crimes: 3

family: 3

would: 3

government: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a position. However, the ideas lack clarity and sufficient development. To improve, focus on providing more specific examples and elaborating on the reasoning behind your arguments. Also, ensure that your writing is clear and grammatically correct to enhance the overall coherence and persuasiveness of your essay.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay's organization is somewhat unclear, and the flow of ideas is frequently disrupted by grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. The introduction presents the topic, but the subsequent paragraphs lack clear topic sentences and logical connections between ideas. The conclusion attempts to summarize the arguments but does not effectively synthesize the information presented. To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on structuring each paragraph around a central idea, using transition words to connect sentences and paragraphs, and ensuring that the conclusion provides a clear summary of your position.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, with some inaccuracies in word choice and usage ('voillators,' 'voilations,' 'prosoners,' 'law braker cells,' 'outwieghs'). There is an attempt to use more complex vocabulary, but the execution is not always successful. To improve lexical resource, focus on expanding your vocabulary and using a dictionary or thesaurus to ensure accurate word choice. Pay attention to collocations and idiomatic expressions to enhance the naturalness of your writing. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including issues with subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, article usage, and sentence structure. These errors significantly impede clarity and understanding. For example, the sentence 'Initially, if someone is sent to prison who voilates traffic rules which are basic crimes' is grammatically incorrect and difficult to understand. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on reviewing basic grammar rules, practicing sentence construction, and proofreading your work carefully for errors. Consider using online grammar checkers or seeking feedback from a teacher or tutor.

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