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Band 5+: The pie chart below shows the proportion of staff employed by age

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The image displays two pie charts for 2015 and 2020, illustrating the proportion of staff employed by age in the UK public sector. In 2015, ages under 21 account for 14%, ages 21-30 make up 23%, ages 31-40 represent 21%, ages 41-50 are 19%, and over 50s constitute 23%. By 2020, ages under 21 comprise 12%, ages 21-30 increase to 33%, ages 31-40 decline to 7%, ages 41-50 rise to 28%, and over 50s decrease to 16%.

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the pie chart illustrates the percentage of employees across different age groups in the UK between 2015 and 2020.

overall, about half employees were at the age 50 and 21-30 the major percentage at the beginning of the year. also, in the second year, the number of workers were from age 21-30. the percentage of employees under 50 and 21-30 reduced in this period in the UK.

in 2015, half workers at the age 50 and 21-30 made up the same 23%. workers with 31-40 age comprised 21%. under 21 and 41-50 age workers composed 14% and 19% which is the least percentage between all age group in the UK.

in 2020, employees at the age 21-30 experinced an upward trend to 33% significantly, while age over 50 decreased considerably to 16%. however, workers with 41-50 age rose to 28% sharply. also, employees under 21 and 31-40 age fall down with 12% and 11% in the UK.

Word Count: 157

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
A1 - Beginner
Aim to use more advanced language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

employees: 5

21-30: 5

workers: 5

percentage: 4

under: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task, but there are some inaccuracies and a lack of clarity. The organization is acceptable, but the language could be more precise and sophisticated. To improve, focus on providing more accurate data and using a wider range of vocabulary to describe the trends and proportions.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates some organization, but the flow of information is not always smooth. Transitions between sentences and ideas could be improved to enhance coherence. Paragraphing is present but could be more effectively used to group related information. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas and improve the overall readability.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is relatively basic and lacks precision. There is some repetition of words and phrases. To improve, try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to proportions, changes, and age groups. Use synonyms and more descriptive language to add depth and clarity to your writing. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. Sentence structure is often simple and lacks complexity. To improve, focus on using a wider range of grammatical structures and ensuring accuracy in your writing. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors.

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Band 5+: The pie chart below shows the proportion of staff employed by age

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Answers On The Same Topic:

The pie chart below shows the proportion of staff employed by age

The pie chart below shows the proportion of staff employed by age

The pie chart below shows the proportion of staff employed by age

The pie chart below shows the proportion of staff employed by age

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