Opinion

Band 4+: Some people say that the main aim of advertising is to improve sales of products that people do not really need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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According to some people, some seller are sale the product that are not necessary and they will be praise this product for buying this.In my opinion, i am disagree with this situation.

In some situations, some simple people are purchasing the items that are not necessary. On the other hand this product will be useful in some occasions. The advertising is necessary to increase the sale of product. In advertising, the product will be well organised and more exaggerated then real one, for these the people can buy it. The popular people will deal with paid promotion these product or if it will be fashion so many people will be buy it even if they do not it.Therefore, advertising usually motivate the people even if that thing is not necessary.

In some reasons, i am disagree with this issue. So many people are believe to the advertisement that is fake and buy this product even when it is not essential. These situation mostly happened to women and among the youngsters.So it will be wastefulness. Teenagers will be spend money to the thing which is looks beautiful for them. Once i enter to the shop with my friend. He want to buy the thing which is need for him. Then the shop’s seller compliment the thing which is for eating then my friend bought it and it was a extravagance. Eventually, i disagree with this.

In conclusion, spending the money or other things like a mineral thing is foolish. So advertising can lead to unnecessary spending. Marketing influences people, but choice is personal.

Word Count: 262

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 8

product: 7

thing: 5

advertising: 4

necessary: 3

disagree: 3

these: 3

which: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by presenting a position and attempting to discuss the role of advertising. However, the development of ideas is not always clear, and there's some repetition. The examples provided are somewhat limited and could be more thoroughly explained to support the arguments. To improve, focus on developing each point with more specific details and clearer reasoning. Also, ensure that your position is consistently maintained throughout the essay.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay lacks clear organization and logical flow. The ideas are not well-connected, and the paragraphing is not effective. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are weak, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. To improve, focus on structuring your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that each address a specific point, and a strong conclusion. Use transition words and phrases to link your ideas and create a smoother flow.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is limited and often inaccurate. There are instances of incorrect word choice and imprecise language. To enhance your lexical resource, try to use a wider range of vocabulary that is appropriate for the topic. Focus on learning synonyms and collocations to express your ideas more effectively. Pay attention to the nuances of word meanings to ensure accuracy. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and sentence structure problems. These errors significantly impede understanding. To improve your grammatical range and accuracy, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Review grammar concepts and seek feedback on your writing to identify and correct errors.

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