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Band 5+: The pie charts show student enrollments in different courses in 1984, 1994 and 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The pie charts show student enrollments in different courses in 1984, 1994 and 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image displays pie charts of student enrollments in different courses across three years: 1984 with mixed media courses 13%, correspondence 20%, face to face 67%; 1994 with mixed media courses 20%, correspondence 25%, face to face 54%, online 1%; 2004 with mixed media courses 35%, correspondence 15%, face to face 40%, online 10%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie chart illustrates how young people were registering themselves in different courses from 1984 to 1994 and 2004.

As we can see, in 1984 people tended to choose the face-to-face way of enrolment, which led to a significant decrease in the use of the other methods, although throughout the years we can notice a slight difference between the three pie charts. In 1994, students were debating whether to choose the infamous face-to-face method or the correspondence option. Then, in 2004, the infamous method I mentioned earlier appeared to share the results with mixed media courses.

In summary, it’s important to note that these two approaches have both been intact from 1984 to 2004, ever since the students were feeling more comfortable and confident about using them, which I couldn’t say about the other ways of enrollment.

Word Count: 137

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:
No noticeable repetition! Great job!

Task Response

The report provides a general overview of the trends in student enrollments but lacks specific data and detailed comparisons. The language used is somewhat vague and informal ('infamous method'). To improve, include specific data points from the pie charts to support your statements and provide a more structured comparison of the changes over the years. Focus on identifying and reporting the main features and significant changes in enrollment percentages for each course type. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and logical flow. The transitions between the descriptions of each year are weak, and the overall structure feels disjointed. The use of phrases like 'infamous method' is inappropriate and disrupts the coherence. Paragraphing is insufficient, and the summary does not effectively tie together the main trends observed in the charts. To improve, focus on creating a more structured narrative with clear topic sentences for each paragraph and use more formal and objective language.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is limited and sometimes inappropriate for an academic report. The phrase 'infamous method' is a poor choice and does not accurately describe the face-to-face courses. There is a lack of precise language to describe the trends and changes in enrollment numbers. To enhance the lexical resource, try to incorporate more specific and varied vocabulary related to trends, proportions, and changes over time. Avoid informal or subjective language.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that affect clarity. While the basic sentence structures are generally correct, there are issues with word choice and sentence construction that make the writing less effective. For example, the phrase 'people tended to choose the face-to-face way of enrolment, which led to a significant decrease in the use of the other methods' is somewhat convoluted. To improve, focus on using more precise and concise language, and ensure that sentences are grammatically sound and easy to understand.

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