Opinion

Band 5+: A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly.

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Many countries and cities depends on tourism as a main source of revenue.By mischance,tourism as a global issue if it is not controlled properly.

One of the main advantages of improvment in country and get investment for development is that your cities will be popular and interesting for tourism that in your countries will be dramatically improvment.Such as i want tell you about Maldives,to start with this countries is very popular thanks to tourism,every year in Maldives come millions people and together with them come more money and investment.All words see in social media beauty in this Island and populated tourism in Maldives.This means that tourism is a very good instrument for fastly rise economics in country and additional level of living of the people will be a grow up.As a result tourism its one of the way rapidly developed of country and clim a standart of living of the population.

On the other hand, there are some disadvantages to consider. Firstly a big drawback its problem with ecology.In my opinion pollution its a big problem for turistical city such as Barselona,Almaty e.t.c. because goverment ready donate envirment for new turistic place.This can lead to habitat destruction for animals,to extinct a plant and animals.Consenquently overpopulaion its problem for a touristical city such as Venecia,Dubai.

In conclusion,although tourism have a many negative aspects offers certain benefits such as dramaticly rise economics in the country and offers certain benefits such as improvement rise of levels of the nabitant.it also presents drawbacks including problems with Envirenment and overpopulation.Overall, I believe that tourism its good toll for fast improvment but need know that need to managed wisely.

Word Count: 273

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

tourism: 7

country: 4

countries: 3

problem: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a position. The main ideas are relevant but lack clarity and sufficient development. The examples provided are somewhat general and could be more specific. To improve, focus on providing more detailed explanations and concrete examples to support your points. Also, ensure that your arguments are clearly linked back to the prompt.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates some attempt at organization, but the ideas are not always logically connected. Paragraphing is present, but the flow between sentences and paragraphs needs improvement. Transitions are weak, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. For example, the connection between the Maldives example and the general point about tourism needs to be clearer. In the second paragraph, the link between ecology problems and specific cities like Barcelona and Almaty could be strengthened with more explanation.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, and there are instances of inaccurate word choice ('by mischance,' 'improvment,' 'populated tourism'). Some phrases are unnatural or imprecise ('additional level of living of the people will be a grow up,' 'clima a standart of living'). To improve, focus on expanding your vocabulary and using a dictionary or thesaurus to find more precise and appropriate words. Pay attention to collocations and idiomatic expressions to make your writing sound more natural.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that impede understanding. These include errors in verb tense ('depends' instead of 'depend'), subject-verb agreement ('tourism as a global issue'), article usage ('the improvment'), and sentence structure. There are also issues with spelling ('turistical,' 'Envirenment,' 'nabitant') and punctuation. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and proofreading carefully for errors. Consider using online grammar checkers or seeking feedback from a teacher or tutor.

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Band 5+: A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

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Essays On The Same Topic:

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly.

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly.

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly.

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly.

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Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both these views and give your own opionion.

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