Letter

Band 6+: you are going to another country to study you would like to do part time job while you are studying so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. wrie a letter to this friend give details of your study plans esplain why you want to get a part time job suggest how your friend could help you find a job

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Dear Ify,

I’m writing to inform you that I will be coming to Canada for my studies by August this year, and seek for your assistance in helping me secure a part-time job.

I’ve been applying to so many schools for quite some time now, luckily for me I secured admission to study public health in the University of Ontario. It’s a 3 years masters program, which is partly funded by the state government. My visa will be ready by August, and initially i was making plans on how to sell of my property here in Nigeria. I changed my mind beause my sister will be entering university by next year and will be needing them.

I would want to get a part-time job to help me pay of my school fees and pay of the depths I incured for the past few months. I’m not financially stable now as the whole process was quite demanding.

I humbly request that you assist me by applying for the role of a data analyst as Nigeria is blacklisted for job application. I just sent my CV on your WhatsApp.

Best wishes,

Phoebe

Word Count: 190

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:
No noticeable repetition! Great job!

Task Response

The letter adequately covers the requirements of the task, providing details of study plans, reasons for wanting a part-time job, and a suggestion for how the friend could help. There are a few minor areas for improvement. For instance, elaborating slightly more on the specific types of jobs you're looking for or your relevant skills could strengthen the letter. Also, the request for the friend to apply on your behalf might be perceived as unusual; consider rephrasing to explore other ways they can assist in your job search. Overall, the letter is well-written and fulfills the task requirements.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally coherent, but the organization could be improved. The flow of ideas is somewhat disjointed in the second paragraph. Consider using more transitional phrases to connect ideas and improve the overall flow. For example, you could add a sentence to link the information about your visa to your plans for selling property. Also, the request in the final paragraph could be clearer and more detailed.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate and generally appropriate. However, there are opportunities to use more varied and sophisticated language. For example, instead of 'help me pay of my school fees,' you could say 'contribute to my tuition expenses.' Also, consider using synonyms to avoid repetition, such as replacing one instance of 'assist' with 'aid' or 'support.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'pay of my school fees' should be 'pay off my school fees,' and 'depths I incured' should be 'debts I incurred.' Correcting these errors and ensuring consistent tense usage will improve the overall grammatical accuracy. Also, pay attention to punctuation, such as commas and capitalization.

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