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Band 5+: Some people think that paying taxes is enough to contribute to the society. Others argue that being a citizen involves more responsibilities. Discuss, what is your opinion?

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Many citizens presume that it’s a vital and sufficient contribution for paying taxes to their society, but the others believe that each person in a country can have more responsibilities as people of society than only paying. I will share some discussions about both perspective and my viewpoint.

On the one hand, each person needs to pay taxes that are enough, being agreed by many people. The advocates of this view think that money is enough for developing nations. In real life with many needs of residents, the taxes are used to strengthen the country’s infrastructure and workforce such as hospitals, health-care system, parks, money for government jobs,.. Because of these contributions of taxes for the country, supporters of this view more and more believe just taxes are sufficient to meet the necessities that people need. Moreover, they assume that taxes represent their hard work and a great responsibility for the nation.The higher a person’s income is, the more tax they have to pay. Therefore, many people believe their hard work and dedication are reflected in the amount of tax they pay, and paying taxes gives them a sense of fulfillment as responsible citizens.

On the other hand, members of a nation who have to have more responsibilities than only paying taxes are supported by many others. Opponents of only paying taxes are enough because they find that only money is not a perfect measure to help the country completely go ahead. A nation which struggles with many challenges needs to have unity which originated from helping elderly people, people in need, people with disabilities, disadvantaged children ,… Besides that, they also presume that a person having many responsibilities is a safety for the country. In the case, a country being suddenly affected by war will have talented individuals and brave people, motivated by patriotism and a strong sense of responsibility, who are always willing to stand up and defend their country.

In conclusion, in my opinion , the problem is not whether each person is compelled to have responsibility or not, the problem is the awareness that people feel with their own nation. With real small action, even one inspirational, or that activity made by young, mature and elderly people that also makes big attention for the nation.

Word Count: 379

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 10

taxes: 9

paying: 5

their: 5

country: 5

person: 4

nation: 4

believe: 3

responsibilities: 3

needs: 3

enough: 3

money: 3

responsibility: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt and presents a clear position. You have discussed both the view that taxes are sufficient and the view that more is required, and you provided a personal opinion in the conclusion. However, the development of ideas could be more precise. Some arguments, such as the idea that taxes represent 'hard work,' are slightly circular and could be better explained. Additionally, the conclusion introduces a new idea regarding 'awareness' and 'small actions' which, while relevant, was not fully developed in the body paragraphs. To improve, ensure that every point made in the body paragraphs is directly linked to the prompt's core tension (tax vs. other duties) and try to avoid using ellipses (...) in formal writing; instead, use phrases like 'such as' or 'including' to list examples. Strengthening the logical connection between your supporting examples and your main arguments will help elevate the score.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs representing both sides, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing and repetitive sentence structures. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'In contrast', 'Consequently') and ensure that each sentence flows logically into the next. Avoid using ellipses (...) in formal writing; instead, use phrases like 'such as... and other essential services' to maintain a professional tone.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is sufficient to convey the main ideas, but there is significant repetition (e.g., 'people', 'responsibilities', 'taxes') and several instances of imprecise word choices (e.g., 'the others believe', 'a safety for the country', 'real small action'). To reach a higher band, aim for more sophisticated synonyms and collocations. For example, instead of 'money is enough', you could use 'financial contributions are sufficient'; instead of 'help the country completely go ahead', you could use 'facilitate national progress'. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the reader's understanding. Issues include subject-verb agreement, incorrect preposition usage (e.g., 'contribution for paying taxes' instead of 'contribution through paying taxes'), and awkward sentence constructions (e.g., 'the others believe that each person in a country can have more responsibilities as people of society than only paying'). Work on mastering complex sentence structures and ensuring that your grammatical control is consistent throughout the essay. Pay close attention to article usage and the correct formation of relative clauses.

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Band 5+: Some people think that paying taxes is enough to contribute to the society. Others argue that being a citizen involves more responsibilities. Discuss, what is your opinion?

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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Some people think that paying taxes is enough to contribute to the society. Others argue that being a citizen involves more responsibilities. Discuss, what is your opinion?

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