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Band 5+: he maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbition, and planned for future development

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Image for topic: he maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbition, and planned for future development

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The image presents two maps of an industrial area in Norbiton, comparing the current state and planned future development. Current state: two factories northwest, farmland north, a roundabout with a central structure, factories northeast, and a road network connecting to the town in the south. Planned future development: removal of some factories; four new housing areas southeast, southwest, and west; introduction of a playground southeast; school in northeast; shops northwest; new roads and roundabouts enhancing connectivity, maintaining current road structure and central roundabout.

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These 2 maps illustrate the current design and the development plan that will occur in the future of the industrial area in the town of Norbition. Overall, the development plan includes demolishing the factory in the farmland. Provide more housing, add more shops and facilities like the medical centre and the school.

The future plan for the renovations in the industrial area provides many benefits for the local people. building new housing in the farmland instead of the factory will allow more people into the area. A new bridge is made across the river for easy transportation for people to housing and into the farmland. Factories southwest and east the river will be removed, and housing are built.

In addition, more facilities such as shops located west the roundabout, and a medical centre southeast the roundabout that serve for residents in the area. More roads are planned to allow smooth transport of people to facilities like shops and medical centre. A school is planned to be built for kids to apply to which will be located east the area and a playground as entertainment facility for young boys and girls. Finally, a new road will be constructed at the very south connecting the area with the town making this area known to people in the town and allowing residents in the area to reach the main town easily where there are more facilities in which residents can benefit from.

Word Count: 239

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 5

housing: 4

facilities: 4

farmland: 3

shops: 3

medical: 3

centre: 3

residents: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main features of the maps and provides a clear overview of the transformation from an industrial zone to a residential area. The response effectively highlights the key changes, such as the replacement of factories with housing and the addition of new amenities like schools and medical centers. To improve, ensure that the overview is a single, cohesive sentence or paragraph rather than a list of fragments. Additionally, try to maintain a more objective, academic tone by avoiding speculative language regarding the 'benefits' or 'ease of transportation,' focusing instead on describing the physical changes depicted in the maps.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical progression in terms of ideas, but the cohesion is weakened by several structural issues. The overview is fragmented, containing a sentence fragment ('Provide more housing...') that lacks a subject. While you attempt to group information by theme (housing, facilities, transport), the transitions between sentences are sometimes abrupt. To improve, ensure every sentence is a complete thought and use a wider variety of cohesive devices (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'In terms of infrastructure', 'Regarding residential areas') to link your observations more smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is functional but repetitive and occasionally imprecise. For example, the word 'people' is used very frequently, and 'facilities' is repeated multiple times. There are also issues with word choice and phrasing, such as 'apply to' regarding the school, which is not the appropriate context for a map description. Try to use more varied synonyms for residents (e.g., inhabitants, locals) and more precise verbs for urban development (e.g., transformed, converted, expanded, established).

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical accuracy is a significant area for improvement. There are several issues with sentence structure, including fragments (sentences without a main verb or subject) and run-on sentences. There are also errors in preposition usage (e.g., 'west the roundabout' instead of 'west of the roundabout') and subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'housing are built' instead of 'housing is built'). Additionally, the tense usage is inconsistent. When describing a future plan, it is better to use future forms (e.g., 'will be built', 'is expected to be') or present continuous for planned actions. Focus on mastering basic sentence structures and the correct use of prepositions of place.

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