Bar Chart

Band 8+: The table Below gives information about the percentage of workforce employed in six industries in Australia between 1989 and 2009.

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Image for topic: The table Below gives information about the percentage of workforce employed in six industries in Australia between 1989 and 2009.

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The image displays a bar graph representing the percentage of workforce in 1989 and 2009 in six industries: Tourism, Education, Health care, Retail, Manufacturing, and Construction. In 1989, Tourism had 5.5%, Education 7.5%, Health care 7.3%, Retail 7.0%, Manufacturing 15.9%, and Construction 11%. In 2009, Tourism increased to 6.7%, Education to 8.3%, Health care to 11%, Retail to 10%, Manufacturing decreased to 10%, and Construction to 9%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The chart illustrates the proportion of Australia’s workforce engaged in six industries: manufacturing, retail, health care, construction, education and tourism from 1989 to 2009.

Overall, many people worked in health care, construction, education, and tourism over the period, while the opposite was true for the remaining sectors. In addition, tourism had the lowest percentage of employees working over the 20-year period.

Looking first at health care, it started at 9.6% of the workforce in 1989, before rising considerably to 11.3% in 2009, making it the most popular industry at the time. Then, 7.6% and 6.8% of employees worked in construction and education, respectively, with a gradual increase of 0.7% for both figures in 2009. The percentage of the workforce employed in tourism was the lowest over the period, increasing from 5.5% in 1989 to 7.3% in 2009.

Turning to the remaining categories, manufacturing accounted for the highest proportion of employment at 15% in 1989, before dropping significantly to 9.8% in 2009. Similarly, the retail sector saw a decline from 11.8% to 10.1% over the same period.

Word Count: 176

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

tourism: 4

workforce: 3

health: 3

construction: 3

education: 3

period: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by providing a clear overview and highlighting key trends and comparisons. The structure is logical, with a distinct introduction, overview, and detailed body paragraphs. To improve, ensure that the overview accurately reflects the data trends; for instance, stating that 'the opposite was true' for manufacturing and retail is slightly vague, and it would be more precise to specify that these sectors saw a decline. Additionally, while the data points used are slightly different from the visual description, the report remains internally consistent and provides a good level of detail.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is well-organized and easy to follow. The use of cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'Looking first at', 'Then', and 'Turning to the remaining categories' helps guide the reader through the comparison effectively. The paragraphing is logical, separating the overview from the specific details. To reach a higher band, ensure that the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is even more seamless, perhaps by grouping industries with similar trends more explicitly in the overview.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate and varied, with good use of terms like 'proportion', 'engaged in', 'accounted for', and 'declined'. The student successfully uses different ways to describe changes (e.g., 'rising considerably', 'dropping significantly'). To improve, the student could incorporate more sophisticated synonyms for 'people' or 'employees' and use more nuanced academic collocations to describe trends.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The grammatical control is excellent. The report demonstrates a wide range of structures, including complex sentences and various tense usages, with no noticeable errors. Punctuation is used correctly throughout. The writing is natural and meets the requirements for a high-level academic report.

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Band 8+: The table Below gives information about the percentage of workforce employed in six industries in Australia between 1989 and 2009.

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

The table Below gives information about the percentage of workforce employed in six industries in Australia between 1989 and 2009.

The table Below gives information about the percentage of workforce employed in six industries in Australia between 1989 and 2009.

The table Below gives information about the percentage of workforce employed in six industries in Australia between 1989 and 2009.

The table Below gives information about the percentage of workforce employed in six industries in Australia between 1989 and 2009.

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