Discussion

Band 5+: Some people believe that technology has made education easier and more accessible, while others argue that it has created more problems than solutions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The mounting amount of people tend to think that technology enhanced the life making it more pleasant whereas others believe that not only it exceeded budget level, but has created more problems. Bearing in mind the technologies in past centuries, it has skyrocketed last 30 years and many devices have appeared such as mobile phones, gaming computers and thin laptops with unbelievable power but it requires valuable items like aluminium, glass and harmful plastics which produces poisonous gases just when you burn it. Notwithstanding the disadvantages, it also has advantages. To exemplify, it became far easier to communicate with people all over the world almost immediately, Moreover, you can ask any information about something that you are curious about and it has become easier since we have artificial intelligence now.

From my point of view, the amount of advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

We have access to almost everything, we can learn new languages and after that practising it with online friends, we can apply to every university and even aim to scholarships and there are endless opportunities that have been offered by technologies. And why I said that advantages outweigh disadvantages is that we simply use digital devices gay in day out and cannot imagine our life without them.

There are some insignificant issues as well. According to the surveys, some people got excessively used to technologies that they are not even able to do chores and other simple stuff by themselves such as place an order and do laundry. They appears to be less and less educated and prefer playing video games as much as they can to. From my perspective, to solve this problem people should retain control over themselves and use digital devices only when they need to and not for one moment should technologies be banned since issues are not that severe.

To sum up, I believe that not only technologies made our lives better but also made it more productive. After artificial intelligence being invented, I feel as if my life became more and more productive.I’ve learned English and other languages so far. Overall I do believe that advantages outweigh those disadvantages.

Word Count: 357

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

technologies: 5

people: 4

advantages: 4

believe: 3

devices: 3

disadvantages: 3

outweigh: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses both views on technology and presents a clear personal opinion. The main parts of the prompt are covered, and a position is stated. However, the development of ideas lacks clarity and precision in places, with some points being underdeveloped or repetitive. The discussion of disadvantages is brief and could be more focused. To improve, ensure each viewpoint is explored with specific, well-supported examples, and avoid vague or unclear statements. Organize the essay more logically, with clear topic sentences for each paragraph, and proofread for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by abrupt transitions and unclear connections between ideas. For example, the shift from discussing the disadvantages of technology to its advantages is not smoothly managed. The use of cohesive devices is inconsistent, and some paragraphs lack a clear central topic. To improve, focus on using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs more logically. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that ideas are developed in a coherent sequence.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with some attempts at less common words (e.g., 'skyrocketed', 'exceeded budget level'). However, there are several instances of inappropriate word choice and collocation errors (e.g., 'mounting amount of people', 'gay in day out'). The phrasing is often awkward or unclear, which affects the overall precision. To improve, work on using more natural and accurate vocabulary. Pay attention to common collocations and avoid direct translations from your native language. Reading more academic texts can help you develop a more sophisticated and natural lexical range.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains a number of grammatical errors that affect clarity and readability. These include subject-verb agreement errors (e.g., 'They appears'), incorrect verb tenses (e.g., 'technology enhanced'), and issues with sentence structure (e.g., run-on sentences). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing commas and incorrect use of periods. While there is some variety in sentence structures, the frequent errors undermine the overall effectiveness. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules, particularly subject-verb agreement and verb tense consistency. Practice writing shorter, clearer sentences and proofread carefully to catch errors.

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