Bar Chart

Band 6+: Describe the bar chart and compare the main features where relevant

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The image is a bar graph depicting "Undergraduates Year 1: average pass rates" for various fields of study in 2008 and 2012. In 2008, Business had a 70% pass rate, Computer Science 40%, Health Sciences 55%, Humanities 45%, Maths and Engineering 35%, and Science 40%. In 2012, Business had an 80% pass rate, Computer Science 45%, Health Sciences 60%, Humanities 50%, Maths and Engineering 40%, and Science 45%.

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The given chart draws a comparison between the performance of students during 2008 and 2012, in their year 1 assessments across different majors . Overall, we can see the majority of subjects witness an improvement in average pass rates, with only result of one field staying the same over the years.

Most notably growth can be seen in the Humanities discipline. Though starting out at the lowest rate of under 5% of pass rates in 2008, by 2012 the percentage points had risen to around 14%, triple in comparison to the starting point. Similarly, students in Business major had also more than doubled in course completion, yielding from 22% to over 50%.

Sciences, along with Maths and Engineering witness similar improvement to one another, each seeing an increase of 22 to 24% from their 2008 rates, but not as dramatic as the previous two majors. Even less so, students participating in Computer Science, despite having the highest pass rates in 2008 at 70%, only increased to 83% in 2012. The only exception that shows no improvement in course completion rate is Health Sciences, remaining stagnant at 42% during both time periods.

Word Count: 191

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

rates: 4

students: 3

improvement: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to describe the bar chart and compare the main features, but it contains significant inaccuracies in the data presented. The overall trend of improvement is noted, but specific figures are incorrect (e.g., Humanities pass rates, Business pass rates, Computer Science starting rate, Health Sciences stagnation). The report would benefit from accurately reporting the data from the visual description and focusing on the key comparisons, such as the highest and lowest pass rates in each year and the most notable changes.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction and a body that groups subjects. However, the progression of ideas is somewhat confusing. The second paragraph discusses Humanities and Business, but the data described does not match the visual information. The third paragraph attempts to compare other subjects but the order and grouping are not logical, and the final sentence about Health Sciences contradicts the visual data. The use of cohesive devices is basic, and the flow could be improved by following a clearer, more systematic order (e.g., highest to lowest or by amount of change). Paragraphing is present but not always effectively managed.

Lexical Resource

The report uses some good vocabulary (e.g., 'witness an improvement', 'stagnant', 'dramatic'), but there are several inaccuracies and inappropriate choices. For example, 'triple in comparison to the starting point' is awkward, and 'yielding from 22% to over 50%' is not idiomatic. The phrase 'most notably growth can be seen' is grammatically incorrect. The range of vocabulary is adequate but not wide, and there is a lack of precise and natural phrasing. Some terms like 'course completion' are used but the chart is about 'pass rates', which is a different concept.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors and awkward structures. For example: 'the majority of subjects witness' should be 'witnessed', 'only result of one field staying the same' is unclear, 'Most notably growth can be seen' is missing a verb, 'triple in comparison to the starting point' is ungrammatical, and 'yielding from 22% to over 50%' is incorrect. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage. While some complex structures are attempted, they are not always controlled accurately. Punctuation is generally correct.

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Band 6+: Describe the bar chart and compare the main features where relevant

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

Describe the bar chart and compare the main features where relevant

Describe the bar chart and compare the main features where relevant

Describe the bar chart and compare the main features where relevant

Describe the bar chart and compare the main features where relevant

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