Pie Chart

Band 4+: he changes in the percentage of electricity usage across various industries between 1995 and 2005.

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The image contains two pie charts comparing the percentage distribution of electricity usage across various industries in the years 1995 and 2005. For 1995, the segments show: food at 8%, fishery at 15%, manufacturing at 24%, household at 33%, and service at 20%. In 2005, the data are: food at 15%, fishery at 21%, manufacturing at 13%, household at 31%, and service at 20%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie charts demostrates how electrticity used by two different industries in 1995 to 2005.

Overall, frist pie chart shows that in 1995 service and household was slightly lower precenteges of using electricity whereas in 2005 these factors shown as much higher in comparison 1995. Secondly, usage of food, fishery, manufactoring precenteges in 2005 was less drammatically decreased. However, in 1995 given three factors was higher in a comparision in 2005.

Focusing on 1995 pie chart we can clearly see how only two precenteges differenciates from 2005. As for other (food, fishery, manufactoring) aspects are the most higher in a comparision between them two. For instance, 1995 food precentage is higher for 3% than in 2005 which is 21%. On the other hand, fishery precentage 7% higher also manufactoring for 2%.

Finally, giving attention to 2005 pie chart we can see how only two of them are increased as for others they are oppositely decreased.

Word Count: 155

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

higher: 5

chart: 3

precenteges: 3

fishery: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to describe the changes in electricity usage between 1995 and 2005, but it suffers from several issues. The organization is weak, and the analysis lacks depth and accuracy. The language contains grammatical errors and imprecise vocabulary, hindering clarity. To improve, focus on providing a clear overview, supporting statements with specific data, and using more accurate language to describe the trends.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks a clear structure and logical flow. The organization of information is confusing, making it difficult to follow the comparisons between the two pie charts. Paragraphing is not effectively used to separate ideas. Consider organizing the report with a clear introduction, body paragraphs focusing on specific trends or sectors, and a concluding statement. Use cohesive devices (e.g., 'however,' 'in contrast,' 'similarly') more effectively to link ideas and sentences.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and lacks precision. There are instances of incorrect word usage (e.g., 'demostrates,' 'precenteges,' 'differenciates'). The range of vocabulary is limited, and there is little evidence of sophisticated control. Expand your vocabulary related to describing data and trends (e.g., 'increased significantly,' 'decreased slightly,' 'remained stable'). Use more precise language to describe the changes and differences between the two years.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, incorrect article usage, and awkward sentence structures. These errors significantly impede understanding. Focus on improving your understanding of basic grammar rules and sentence construction. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors. Practice writing simple sentences and gradually increase complexity as your accuracy improves.

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