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Band 5+: Provided maps illustrate the information on how the city of Eastminster changed over 10 years between 1999 and 2009.

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Image for topic: Provided maps illustrate the information on how the city of Eastminster changed over 10 years between 1999 and 2009.

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The image depicts two maps of Eastminster from 1999 and 2009. In 1999, there are areas designated as Woodland (top-left), Park (top-right), Streets of houses (top-right), Public garden (bottom-right), Large house with gardens (center), Houses (top-center, right), Hospital (bottom-left), School (middle-left), Shops (middle), and Railway station (bottom-left). By 2009, changes include Woodland replaced by Adventure park, the addition of a Hotel with golf course in the center, Apartment blocks (right), and Factories and warehouses (bottom-right) replacing the Public garden. The Shopping complex appears adjacent to shops at the center, replacing the large house with gardens. Houses remain (top-center, right), the Hospital and School retain positions but are joined by the new Shopping complex and Adventure park.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The maps provided illustrate change that city Eastminster has undergone in 1999 and its renovated version in 2009.

Overall, the large house with its gardens and streets of houses were converted into hotel with a golf course and apartment blocks, which makes the area more attractive and improves its value. Furthermore, the size of houses expanded while park become smaller.

Over the period between 1999 and 2009, the area with lots of trees transformed into adventure park, making an area confortable for family whose have children. One change that stand out is school turned into shopping centre and constructed to the north side of the lake. Instead of a public garden, houses were built.

Another noticeable change was a significant expansion of the houses which located in the east side of the adventure park. In contrast, park became smaller over the 10 year. The factories and warehouses was constructed in 2009.

Word Count: 151

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

houses: 4

change: 3

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Task Response

The report attempts to address the task and identifies several changes, but there are significant inaccuracies in how the data is reported compared to the visual description. For instance, the report claims the school turned into a shopping centre, whereas the description suggests the shopping complex replaced the large house. Additionally, some information is contradictory or lacks clarity, such as the mention of a 'lake' which is not present in the description. To improve, ensure that every transformation described strictly aligns with the provided visual data and focus on grouping changes logically (e.g., residential changes vs. commercial/recreational changes) to improve the coherence of the overview and body paragraphs.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical structure with an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes interrupted by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors. To improve, ensure that transitions between sentences are smoother and that the relationship between different changes is clearly established using cohesive devices (e.g., 'In addition to this,' 'Regarding the residential areas,' etc.).

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and repetitive. While there is an attempt to use varied verbs like 'transformed' and 'converted,' there are several instances of imprecise word choices (e.g., 'renovated version' is not quite appropriate for a city map, and 'confortable' is misspelled). Aim to use more precise academic vocabulary for describing changes, such as 'redeveloped,' 'modernized,' 'replaced by,' or 'demolished to make way for.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and occasionally impede the reader's understanding. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'factories and warehouses was'), article usage (e.g., 'into hotel'), and relative clauses (e.g., 'family whose have children'). Additionally, tense consistency needs attention. To improve, focus on mastering complex sentence structures and ensuring that singular/plural nouns match their corresponding verbs.

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