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Band 6+: Task one the two pie charts show the patron of expenditure in US between 1966-1996. Summarise the information by selecting the reporting and main feature and making comparisons where relevant

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The image displays two pie charts comparing US expenditure in 1966 and 1996: In 1966, food accounted for 44%, cars 23%, petrol 9%, restaurants 7%, furniture 10%, computers 1%, books 6%. In 1996, food represented 14%, cars 45%, petrol 8%, restaurants 14%, furniture 8%, computers 10%, books 1%.

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The two given diagrams present the information about expenses in US during 1966 to 1996.

Overview, within these 3 decades, while the right side of the tables showed notable changes,the left part of the circuit remained relatively stable.

To commence with, by 1996, the share of book’s expenses notably declined to 1%. To highlight, while the percentage of food expenses have plummeted to 14 percent, the percentage of cars expenses have rocketed sharply to 45%, respectively. What is also worth mentioning, the momey invested for restaurants have doubled, accounting for 14% by 1996.

According to the provided chart, it is effortless to notice that money spent on computers has gone up to 10 percent. The diagram reveals that the amount of money spent on petrol remained still, starting from 10 percent and changing by only 1%, respectively. To finish with, the spendings for petrol have experienced the same situation. However, at first, that percentage was 9 percent.

Word Count: 157

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

expenses: 4

percent: 4

percentage: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main features of the pie charts and makes some relevant comparisons. However, there are some minor inaccuracies and omissions. For example, the report mentions that the left part of the circuit remained relatively stable, which is not entirely accurate as there are changes in food expenditure. Also, the report mentions petrol starting from 10 percent and changing by only 1%, but the initial percentage was 9 percent. To improve, ensure all data is accurately represented and that all significant changes are noted.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize the information, but the flow is somewhat disrupted by abrupt transitions and a lack of clear connections between ideas. The overview is present but could be more effective in summarizing the key trends. Paragraphing is generally acceptable, but improvements could be made to enhance the logical progression of ideas. For example, try to group similar trends or categories together to create a more cohesive narrative.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a range of vocabulary relevant to the task, but there are instances where the word choice could be more precise or natural. For example, 'patron of expenditure' is not quite idiomatic. While there are attempts to use varied language, such as 'plummeted' and 'rocketed,' the overall effect is somewhat inconsistent. To improve, focus on using synonyms and paraphrasing more effectively to demonstrate a wider lexical range.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors and phrasing issues are noticeable and impact clarity. There are inaccuracies in verb tense, article usage, and sentence construction. For example, 'the share of book's expenses notably declined' and 'money invested for restaurants have doubled' contain errors. To enhance grammatical accuracy, carefully proofread for common mistakes and focus on mastering fundamental grammar rules.

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