Bar Chart

Band 5+: The chart below shows the percentage of Australian children in three groups taking part in four kinds of activities in 2018

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The image presents a bar graph depicting the percentage of Australian children participating in four activities in 2018. Watching TV: 5-8 years old at 95%, 9-11 years old at 90%, 12-16 years old at 80%. Reading: 5-8 years old at 60%, 9-11 years old at 80%, 12-16 years old at 50%. Playing computer games: 5-8 years old at 70%, 9-11 years old at 80%, 12-16 years old at 60%. Riding bikes: 5-8 years old at 70%, 9-11 years old at 60%, 12-16 years old at 50%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The chart provide percentage of children based on age in Australia in the year of 2018 taking part in four activities such as watching TV, Reading, playing with computer games and riding bikes.

Overall, the majority of children are more attracted to watch TV, dominated with children aged 5-8 years old, in contrast, many are less attracted in playing computer games with the lowest percentage of children aged 12-16 years old.

Children aged 5-8 years old was one of the highest percentage to watch TV numbering at aproximatelly 98%. In contrast, the least ammount of percentage at only 60% of 5-8 years old were interested in playing games. Furthermore,children aged 12-16 years old were more attracted in riding bikes with aproximatelly 81% and only arround half of it were interested in playing computer games.

Additionally, children aged 9-11 years old were largely interested in watching TV at 80%, followed by reading at approximately 70%

Word Count: 154

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

years: 6

children: 5

percentage: 4

playing: 4

computer: 3

games: 3

attracted: 3

interested: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task, but there are some inaccuracies in the data reported and some issues with organization. The overview is acceptable, but the body paragraphs could be better structured to compare and contrast the data more effectively. Also, ensure that the data cited is accurate and reflects the information presented in the graph.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an attempt to organize information into paragraphs, but the flow between sentences and ideas could be improved. Transitions between paragraphs are weak, and the overall structure feels somewhat disjointed. Consider using more cohesive devices (e.g., conjunctions, pronouns, synonyms) to link ideas and improve the logical progression of information. For example, in the third paragraph, the connection between the sentences is not immediately clear. Try to establish clearer relationships between the data points you are presenting.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is relatively basic and lacks the precision needed to effectively describe the data. There are instances of imprecise word choice (e.g., 'ammount' instead of 'percentage'). To improve, try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to describing trends, comparisons, and quantities. Use synonyms and more specific terms to avoid repetition and enhance the clarity of your descriptions. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'interested in,' consider alternatives like 'engaged in,' 'participated in,' or 'showed a preference for.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('children aged 5-8 years old was'), incorrect word usage ('ammount' instead of 'amount'), and sentence structure. To improve, focus on using a variety of sentence structures correctly and paying close attention to grammatical rules. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors in grammar and punctuation. For example, ensure that verbs agree with their subjects and that articles ('a,' 'an,' 'the') are used correctly.

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Band 5+: The chart below shows the percentage of Australian children in three groups taking part in four kinds of activities in 2018

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Answers On The Same Topic:

The chart below shows the percentage of Australian children in three groups taking part in four kinds of activities in 2018

The chart below shows the percentage of Australian children in three groups taking part in four kinds of activities in 2018

The chart below shows the percentage of Australian children in three groups taking part in four kinds of activities in 2018

The chart below shows the percentage of Australian children in three groups taking part in four kinds of activities in 2018

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