Pie Chart

Band 6+: The chart below shows the results of a recent survey into the causes of poor school attendance in the UK. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The chart below shows the results of a recent survey into the causes of poor school attendance in the UK. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image contains a pie chart showing the results of a survey into the causes of poor school attendance, with the following breakdown: both parents working is 40%, Lack of school discipline is 25%, Peer group pressure is 15%, Bullying is 15%, and Upbringing is 5%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given chart illustrates the outcome of a study about factors causing low attendance of schools in the UK.

Overall, the poorness of attendance mainly causes by both parents of students working, and upbringing affects least on the shortage of shool attending rate. Bullying and peer group pressure have the similar level of influence on the number of participants in school.

To begin with, the percentage of people not joining the school because of both of their parents working is the highest in the chart, at 40%. It is followed by the lack of school discipline, which occupies a quarter of the factors that lead to low school attendance. These two reasons totally influence two time more negatively on the number of learners at schools than the others figures.

With the remain percentages, it is interesting to notice that there are 15% of people not going to school as a result of peer group pressure, and bullying causes the same proportion. In addition, upbringing is leading least to the low formal education attendance of the UK, at just 5%.

Word Count: 179

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

attendance: 4

school: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively summarizes the main features of the pie chart and makes relevant comparisons. The overall structure is clear, with an introduction, body paragraphs detailing the key findings, and a concluding statement. The language used is generally accurate and appropriate for the task. To improve, consider refining the language to be more precise and concise. For example, avoid phrases like "poorness of attendance" and instead use "poor attendance." Also, ensure that all numerical data is accurately represented and that comparisons are clearly stated.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report generally presents a clear overview of the data, but the organization could be improved for better flow. Consider grouping similar points together and using more varied transition words to enhance the connection between sentences and paragraphs. For example, the comparison between 'bullying' and 'peer group pressure' could be more explicitly linked. Also, avoid abrupt shifts in focus between different data points.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate but could be more precise and varied. Phrases like 'poorness of attendance' and 'shortage of shool attending rate' are not the most natural. Try using synonyms and more specific terms to describe the data. For instance, instead of 'people not joining the school,' you could say 'students absent from school.' Also, avoid informal language.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Common issues include incorrect verb tense ('causes' instead of 'is caused'), subject-verb agreement ('upbringing affects least'), and awkward phrasing ('two time more negatively'). Pay close attention to sentence structure and ensure that your grammar is accurate to improve the overall quality of your writing. Proofread carefully to catch these errors.

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