Bar Chart

Band 6+: The chart below shows the results of a survey in percentage terms comparing the participation in various home activities among young people aged 11 to 16 in four countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant Write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: The chart below shows the results of a survey in percentage terms comparing the participation in various home activities among young people aged 11 to 16 in four countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant Write at least 150 words.

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The image depicts a survey showing percentages of home activities among young individuals aged 11 to 16 in four countries: England, Scotland, Ireland, Wales. England: Computer Games 50%, Reading 30%, Board Games 50%, Watching TV 75%. Scotland: Computer Games 60%, Reading 25%, Board Games 40%, Watching TV 60%. Ireland: Computer Games 45%, Reading 25%, Board Games 35%, Watching TV 45%. Wales: Computer Games 55%, Reading 35%, Board Games 45%, Watching TV 70%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart illustrates the findings of a survey on four different activities participated in by children aged 11-16 from four nations including England, Scotland, Ireland and Wales.

Overall, the share of computer games is the highest in all four countries, especially that of Ireland, whereas the opposite is true for reading and board games. Additionally, the proportion of teenagers watching TV is relatively similar across nations.

Specifically, the Irish children hold the biggest contribution of computer games among activities cited in the survey, reaching 60%. Meanwhile, the figure for computer games in England and Wales stays at around 50% which is 10% higher compared to that of Scotland. In contrast, reading is always the least popular activity joined by the youth in those countries as the remarkable percentage of Wales and Ireland both touch about 12%, England at 20% and Scotland at 25%.

It is apparent that the proportion of watching TV in four geographical areas remains unchanged among four countries, at 30%. Simultaneously, the proportion of board games in Scotland and Ireland account for approximately 20%, while that of England takes up 25% and Wales at 30%.

Word Count: 189

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

games: 5

england: 4

scotland: 4

ireland: 4

computer: 3

countries: 3

proportion: 3

wales: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report identifies some overall trends and provides some specific data, but there are inaccuracies and a lack of clarity in the comparisons. The organization is somewhat unclear, and the final paragraph contains inaccurate data. To improve, focus on accurate data reporting, clearer comparisons, and a more logical structure. Ensure that all data cited is correct and that comparisons are precise and relevant.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate level of coherence and cohesion, but there are areas where improvements can be made. The organization of information is generally clear, but the transitions between ideas could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing computer games to reading in the third paragraph feels somewhat abrupt. Consider using transitional phrases or sentences to better connect these ideas. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to enhance clarity.

Lexical Resource

The report showcases a satisfactory range of vocabulary, but there's room to enhance the sophistication and precision of word choice. While the vocabulary used is generally appropriate, incorporating more varied and nuanced language could elevate the writing. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'proportion' or 'percentage,' consider synonyms like 'share,' 'rate,' or 'level,' where appropriate. Aim for more natural and idiomatic expressions to demonstrate a stronger command of the English language.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a fair command of grammar, but there are noticeable errors that affect clarity and accuracy. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and appropriate article usage. For instance, in the third paragraph, there are issues with the accuracy of the data presented, and the sentence structure could be improved for better clarity. Proofread carefully to identify and correct these errors, and consider seeking feedback from a language tutor or using grammar-checking tools to refine your writing.

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