Bar Chart

Band 6+: The chart below shows the results of a survey in percentage terms comparing the participation in various home activities among young people aged 11 to 16 in four countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant Write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: The chart below shows the results of a survey in percentage terms comparing the participation in various home activities among young people aged 11 to 16 in four countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant Write at least 150 words.

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The image depicts a survey showing percentages of home activities among young individuals aged 11 to 16 in four countries: England, Scotland, Ireland, Wales. England: Computer Games 50%, Reading 30%, Board Games 50%, Watching TV 75%. Scotland: Computer Games 60%, Reading 25%, Board Games 40%, Watching TV 60%. Ireland: Computer Games 45%, Reading 25%, Board Games 35%, Watching TV 45%. Wales: Computer Games 55%, Reading 35%, Board Games 45%, Watching TV 70%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart illustrates the findings of a survey on four different activities participated in by children aged 11-16 from four nations including England, Scotland, Ireland and Wales.

Overall, the share of computer games is the highest in all the four nations, especially that of Ireland, whereas the opposite is true for reading and board games. Additionally, the proportion of teenagers watching TV is relatively similar across nations.

Specifically, Irish children have the biggest attendance in computer games among activities cited in the survey, reaching 60%. Meanwhile, the figure for computer games in England and Wales stays at around 50% which is 10% higher compared to that of Scotland. In contrast, reading is always the least popular activity engaged in by the youth in those countries as the low percentage of Wales and Ireland both contributing a percentage of about 12%, England at 20% and Scotland at 25%.

It is apparent that the proportion of watching TV in the four geographical areas remains unchanged among four countries, at 30%. Simultaneously, the proportion of board games in Scotland and Ireland account for approximately 20%, while that of England takes up 25% and Wales at 30%.

Word Count: 194

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

games: 5

england: 4

scotland: 4

ireland: 4

computer: 3

proportion: 3

wales: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report generally addresses the requirements of the task, but there are some inaccuracies in the data reported. For example, the report states that Irish children have the biggest attendance in computer games at 60%, but the visual data shows Scotland at 60%. Also, the report mentions that the low percentage of Wales and Ireland both contributing a percentage of about 12% in reading, but the visual data shows Wales at 35% and Ireland at 25%. The report also states that the proportion of watching TV in the four geographical areas remains unchanged among four countries, at 30%, but the visual data shows different percentages for each country. To improve, ensure that the data reported is accurate and reflects the information presented in the visual.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear structure, including an introduction, overview, and specific details. However, there are some instances where the connections between sentences or ideas could be smoother. For example, in the third paragraph, the transition between discussing computer games and then shifting to reading could be improved with a clearer linking phrase. Also, the final paragraph contains some inaccuracies regarding the data, which affects the overall coherence. To improve, ensure that all statements are factually correct and that transitions between ideas are logical and clear.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, appropriate for the task. Terms like 'attendance,' 'proportion,' 'relatively similar,' and 'engaged in' are used effectively. However, there are opportunities to enhance the lexical resource further by using more varied synonyms and avoiding repetition. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'proportion,' consider alternatives like 'percentage,' 'share,' or 'rate.' Also, ensure that the vocabulary used is precise and accurately reflects the data.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a reasonable command of grammar, but there are some errors that affect clarity. For example, in the second paragraph, the phrase 'especially that of Ireland' is not grammatically correct in this context. In the third paragraph, there are inaccuracies in the data presented, such as stating that Wales and Ireland both contribute a percentage of about 12% for reading, which is incorrect according to the provided data. The final paragraph also contains inaccurate data. To improve, carefully proofread the report for grammatical errors and ensure that all data references are accurate and consistent with the provided chart.

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