Bar Chart

Band 6+: The chart gives information about the proportion of students choosing diﬀerent science subjects in a university in 1992 and 2000.

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Image for topic: The chart gives information about the proportion of students choosing diﬀerent science subjects in a university in 1992 and 2000.

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The image shows two bar charts; in the first chart, for 1992, males are at 70 and females at 30, while for 2012, males are at 55 and females at 50. In the second chart, for 1992, Biology is at 65, Physics at 25, and Computer Science at 5, while for 2012, Biology is at 20, Physics at 25, and Computer Science at 30.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart demonstrares information about the quantity of students who choose several science subjects in a university between 1992 to 2012.

Overall, biology was the highest category in both years. Moreover, computer science was at the bottom in the first period, before it increased in 2012. In addition, while the male sector experienced gradual changes, the female sector showed sharp shifts over time.

Focusing on the chart, the number of students who choose biology was the highest, which accounted for 65, while physics and computer science were almost 22 and 5, respectively. Over the following decade, there were immense difference. The first sector declined noticeably to 41, whereas both the third category for computer science rose considerably to 25 and it reached a peak. However, the second figure decreased slightly to 20.

As for student rates, the highest figure was in the male category, which stood at 65 in 1992 before dropping to 50 over the following period. The proportion of females was the lowest initially, but it increased markedly to 45.

Word Count: 173

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

science: 4

highest: 3

category: 3

computer: 3

sector: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task, but there are some inaccuracies and omissions. The data is not always accurate, and some key features are missed. To improve, ensure all key features are included and that the data is accurately represented. Also, pay attention to the tense consistency and clarity of expression.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize the information, but there are some areas where coherence could be improved. The organization of the paragraphs is not entirely clear, and the transitions between ideas could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing subject preferences to student rates feels somewhat disjointed. Consider using more explicit linking words and phrases to guide the reader through the information. Also, ensure each paragraph has a clear focus and that the information within it is logically connected.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a reasonable range of vocabulary, but there are opportunities to enhance the precision and sophistication of word choices. For example, 'demonstrates information' could be replaced with 'illustrates' or 'provides data.' While words like 'immense,' 'noticeably,' and 'considerably' are used, try to incorporate a wider variety of synonyms to describe changes and trends more accurately. Focus on using more specific and descriptive language to convey the information effectively.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors and phrasing issues that affect clarity. For instance, there are inconsistencies in verb tense and subject-verb agreement. Sentences like 'The first sector declined noticeably to 41' and 'the second figure decreased slightly to 20' could be phrased more accurately. Pay close attention to sentence structure, verb tenses, and the correct use of articles and prepositions. Proofreading carefully and focusing on grammatical accuracy will significantly improve the overall quality of the report.

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