Multiple Graphs

Band 4+: The charts below show the percentage of people using public transport and that of people using private cars in five Australian cities between 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The charts below show the percentage of people using public transport and that of people using private cars in five Australian cities between 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image features two line graphs; the top graph titled "Percentage of People Using Public Transportation" spans from 2000 to 2010, with Sydney starting at 15%, Melbourne at 11%, Brisbane at 9%, Perth at 7%, and Adelaide at 7% climbing steadily to Sydney at 23%, Melbourne at 18%, Brisbane 13%, Perth at 11%, and Adelaide at 10% by 2010; the bottom graph titled "Percentage of People Using Private Cars" shows Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Perth, and Adelaide all starting at 100% in 2000 and decreasing over a decade to Sydney at 78%, Melbourne at 83%, Brisbane at 87%, Perth at 88%, and Adelaide at 90% by 2010, with a slight uptick by Adelaide between 2009 and 2010.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The line charts illustrate data on the changes in the proportion of using public transport and private cars in 5 Australian cities through out the period from 2000 to 2010.

Overall, It can be clearly seen that almost all 5 cities have the same upward trend except Melbourne in private cars.

Firstly, Brisbane in public transport commenced with 15% of daily users in 2000. After that, from 2002 this indicator began to rise rapidly to 2010 when it hits 28%.

Interestingly, when Sydney is a leader in public transport with 20% Adelaide has the least percentage namely 5%, but when Adelaide is leader in private cars with 70% Sydney has the least percents clearly 20% in 2000 for both.

As far as the bottom of the chart is concerned Adelaide in public transport had only 5% in 2000. Then from 2000 to 2010 Adelaide witnessed many unnoticeable rises and falls and hitting 5% at the end.

Word Count: 156

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

public: 4

transport: 4

adelaide: 4

private: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but contains significant inaccuracies and irrelevant information. The data reported is often incorrect, and the analysis lacks depth and clarity. The structure is also weak, with unclear connections between paragraphs. To improve, focus on accurately extracting and reporting the main trends and specific data points from the graphs. Ensure that comparisons are relevant and supported by the data. Also, organize the report more logically, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs focusing on specific trends or comparisons, and a concise conclusion.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks a clear overall structure and logical flow. The information is not presented in a coherent manner, making it difficult to follow the main trends and comparisons. Paragraphing is not effectively used to organize the information. For example, the second paragraph mentions Melbourne in private cars, but this is not clearly connected to the overall trend. The report needs a clearer introduction and conclusion to provide context and summarize the main points. Use cohesive devices more effectively to link ideas and sentences together.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is limited and sometimes inaccurate. There are instances of inappropriate word choice and imprecise language. For example, 'hits 28%' is not a natural way to describe reaching a percentage. The report could benefit from a wider range of vocabulary to describe trends and comparisons more effectively. Use more precise language to convey the information accurately. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and incorrect use of prepositions. Sentence structure is often awkward and unclear. For example, the sentence 'when Sydney is a leader in public transport with 20% Adelaide has the least percentage namely 5%, but when Adelaide is leader in private cars with 70% Sydney has the least percents clearly 20% in 2000 for both' is grammatically incorrect and difficult to understand. Focus on improving grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to ensure clarity and coherence.

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