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Band 7+: The charts below show the percentage of secondary school students at a school in the UK taking different subjects in 1995 and this year

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The image contains two pie charts representing student subject percentages: in 1995, Geography 21%, RS 9%, Drama 12%, Business 16%, History 26%, Art 15%; currently, Geography 23%, IT 27%, Business 16%, History 25%, Art 8%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given two pie charts illustrate the proportion of secondary school students who choose various subjects between 1995 and the present year. Overall, it is clear that a dramatically larger number of students choose subjects like history and geography. In addition, there are also many differences in terms of the students’ preferred different subjects.

Turning to the first chart, it can be observed that students chose history (26%) than took other subjects. Geography comes as the second most popular topic, constituting 21%. Equal quantities of both sexes preferred business (16%). Business followed by art, which made up 15%. Drama and RS were less preferable subjects, chosen by 12% and 9% respectively.

Taking a closer look at the second chart, it can be seen that current students’ most preferred subject is IT, being 27% of the total. History and geography remain the most preferable subjects and make up 25% and 23% singly. In contrast to the past students’ preferences, art is almost twice as less.

Word Count: 164

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

subjects: 5

students: 3

history: 3

geography: 3

students': 3

preferred: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the requirements of the task, providing a general overview and highlighting key changes in subject preferences between 1995 and the present year. However, there are some omissions, such as not mentioning that the proportion of students taking Business remained the same. To improve, ensure all significant data points are addressed and consider a more structured comparison between the two time periods.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and an overview. The information is generally well-organized, but transitions between sentences and ideas could be smoother to enhance the flow. Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to connect ideas more effectively.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate and generally appropriate for the task. However, there's room to incorporate a wider range of synonyms and more precise language to describe the data. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'preferred,' consider alternatives like 'favored,' 'inclined towards,' or 'gravitated to.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good command of grammar, with only minor errors. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and article usage. Varying sentence structure more could also enhance the overall quality of the writing. For example, combine short sentences or use complex sentence structures to express relationships between ideas more effectively.

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