Pie Chart

Band 6+: The charts below show the share of the swiss watch market by brand in 2020 and 2021. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image displays two pie charts comparing six watch brands' market shares for the years 2020 and 2021. In 2020, Rolex 14.9%, Omega 15.6%, Cartier 13.9%, Patek 8.9%, Longines 7.1%, AP 10.1%, other brands 29.5%. In 2021, Rolex 12.7%, Omega 9.1%, Cartier 8.5%, Patek 7.4%, Longines 9.1%, AP 10%, other brands 46.7%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie charts illustrates the total sales of Switzerland wrist-watch market of six different brands in 2020 and 2021.

In general, Rolex dominated the market place throughout both years. Also, only Rolex has increased its market share, while others faced slight declines in their market share.

The three biggest companies in 2020 were Rolex, Omega and Cartier having sales of 39.5%, 15.6% and 14.5%, respectively. While Rolex continued its legacy by dominating the market place and also increasing its share to about half of the total sales by 2021. In contrast, the brands such as Omega and cartier faced a slight decrease in their sales to 12.7% and 13.8%. It is interesting to note that Cartier surpasses Omega in market share and secured the second position overall.

The remaining three competitors like Patek, Longines and AP each had about 10% total sales in 2021 which fell down by about a percent in 2021. While Patek faced the maximum decline in its sales about 2.5%, but AP got showed the lowest decrease in its shares of one percent and successfully achieved the fourth position in the market region.

Word Count: 187

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

market: 7

sales: 6

rolex: 4

about: 4

total: 3

share: 3

while: 3

faced: 3

omega: 3

cartier: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main features of the pie charts and makes relevant comparisons between the market shares of different watch brands in 2020 and 2021. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported (e.g., Rolex's market share increase, Omega's 2021 market share, Cartier's 2021 market share, and the combined sales of Patek, Longines, and AP). To improve, ensure all data cited is accurate and directly supported by the visual information. Also, the report could benefit from a more structured approach, perhaps grouping brands by performance (increase, decrease, stable) for clearer comparison.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a general overview and identifies some key trends, but the organization could be improved for better flow. Consider structuring the report with a clearer topic sentence for each paragraph to guide the reader. Also, ensure that transitions between sentences and paragraphs are smooth and logical to enhance coherence.

Lexical Resource

The report uses adequate vocabulary to describe the data, but there's room for improvement in using more precise and varied language. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'market share,' try incorporating synonyms or related terms to add depth to your descriptions. Also, ensure that the vocabulary used is appropriate for the context and avoids any ambiguity.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors and inaccuracies that affect clarity. Focus on improving sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and correct use of articles and prepositions. Review and correct errors related to verb tense consistency and ensure that punctuation is accurate throughout the report. Addressing these issues will enhance the overall grammatical accuracy and readability of your writing.

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