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Band 7+: The charts show the main methods of people travelling to one university in 2004 and 2009.

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The image displays pie charts comparing transportation methods to a university in 2004 and 2009. In 2004: Car 51%, Bicycle 9%, Bus 33%, Train 3%, Walking 4%. In 2009: Car 28%, Bicycle 16%, Bus 46%, Train 4%, Walking 6%. Footnote indicates car parking charge changes in 2006 and a new bus stop in 2008.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The two pie charts illustrate the percentage distribution of people travelling in a particular university between 2004 and 2009.

Overall, travelling in car accounted for the largest proportion in first chart and in the bus registered the highest segment in second chart, whereas train represented the smallest share in both charts. Although there were some changes over time, the general distribution pattern remained broadly similar.

In 2004, car charges made up the largest segment, accounting for 51% of the total. This was followed by bus, which represented 33%. Meanwhile, bicycle and walking contributed moderate proportions, at 9% and 4%. The smallest share was recorded for train, at just 3%.

By 2009, there were noticeable changes. For car, its share fell to 28%. In contrast, bus increased to 46%, while bicycle experienced a more significant change rise to 16% of the total. Nevertheless, walking and train represent the smallest proportions at 6% and 4%.

Word Count: 153

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

train: 3

smallest: 3

share: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by comparing the transportation methods to the university in 2004 and 2009. The overview is well-written, and the body paragraphs provide sufficient detail, highlighting key changes and proportions. To further enhance the response, consider including specific data comparisons within the same sentence to emphasize the shifts between the two years. For example, 'While car usage decreased from 51% in 2004 to 28% in 2009, bus usage increased from 33% to 46%.' This would make the analysis even more impactful.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear structure: introduction, overview, and detailed paragraphs for each year. The use of cohesive devices is adequate, but there's room for improvement to make the transitions smoother and the relationships between ideas more explicit. For instance, in the overview, you could add a sentence summarizing the key changes or trends observed between the two years to strengthen the connection between the overall statement and the specific details that follow. Also, consider using more varied linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of information.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate and generally accurate. However, there are opportunities to use a wider range of vocabulary to describe the data and trends more precisely. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'represented' or 'accounted for,' consider using synonyms like 'constituted,' 'comprised,' or 'made up.' Also, explore more sophisticated ways to describe changes, such as 'a significant decrease,' 'a marginal increase,' or 'a dramatic shift.' This will add depth and nuance to your descriptions.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a reasonable command of grammar, but there are several errors that affect clarity. For example, 'travelling in car accounted for the largest proportion' should be 'car travel accounted for the largest proportion' or 'cars accounted for the largest proportion of travel'. Also, 'car charges made up the largest segment' is awkward; consider rephrasing to 'car usage made up the largest segment'. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, article usage, and correct tense usage. Proofreading carefully for these errors will improve the overall accuracy of your writing.

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