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Band 5+: The charts show the main methods of people travelling to one university in 2004 and 2009.

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The image displays pie charts comparing transportation methods to a university in 2004 and 2009. In 2004: Car 51%, Bicycle 9%, Bus 33%, Train 3%, Walking 4%. In 2009: Car 28%, Bicycle 16%, Bus 46%, Train 4%, Walking 6%. Footnote indicates car parking charge changes in 2006 and a new bus stop in 2008.

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The charts illustrates the main methods of people travelling to one university. The data is given in percentages.

Overall, it is clear that in 2004, car travelling was the most popular option; meanwhile in 2009, bus travelling was increased.

According to the charts, im 2004, apart car and bus, the bicycle was also an option. Train and walking methods seemed unappealing to some people. The main reason was that car parking charges in the university.

Another noticeable feature is that in 2009, percentage of people who prefered suddenly decreased from 51% to 28% since new bus stop in the university was built in 2008; meanwhile, percentages of people who travelled by bicycle increased to 16%. Similarly, train and walking options were also rose slightly.

Word Count: 124

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 4

travelling: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report identifies some key trends but lacks detail and precision. The description of the data is somewhat general and could benefit from more specific numerical comparisons. The analysis touches on possible reasons for the changes (car parking charges, new bus stop) but doesn't fully explore the relationship between these factors and the transportation choices. To improve, provide more specific data points and expand on the analysis of the reasons behind the changes observed in the charts. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate overview and some logical organization, but coherence could be improved. The connection between sentences within paragraphs is not always clear, and the reasoning behind some observations (e.g., car parking charges) needs more explicit linking to the data. Consider using cohesive devices more effectively to guide the reader through your analysis and ensure each sentence logically follows from the previous one. Paragraphing is acceptable but could be refined to better group related ideas.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is generally appropriate but lacks sophistication. There's some repetition of basic words ('traveling,' 'percentage'). Try to incorporate a wider range of synonyms and more precise language to describe the trends and changes. For example, instead of 'increased,' consider using 'rose,' 'grew,' or 'surged.' Also, explore more descriptive adjectives and adverbs to add depth to your analysis.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains grammatical errors that affect clarity. Errors include incorrect preposition usage ('apart car'), subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing ('percentage of people who prefered suddenly decreased'). While the overall meaning is understandable, these errors detract from the report's professionalism. Focus on improving sentence structure and proofreading carefully to eliminate grammatical mistakes. Vary your sentence structures to enhance readability.

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