Bar Chart

Band 6+: The different leisure activities favoured by Canadian boys and girls.

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Image for topic: The different leisure activities favoured by Canadian boys and girls.

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The image depicts a bar chart titled "Favourite leisure activities of teenagers in Canada" with four categories: Sports at 30% (boys), 15% (girls); Computer Games at 25% (boys), 10% (girls); Music at 20% (boys), 20% (girls); and Shopping at 35% (girls), 5% (boys).

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The percentages of boys and girls enjoying various activities in Canada are illustrated in the given bar chart.

Overall, the proportion of Canadian boys choosing these activities are higher than this figure for girls, except music. Besides, there is a difference among the percents of teenagers in Canada favoring these types of leisure activities.

In detail, over 25% of boys in Canada are keen on this activity, while this percent of girls is much lower, around 11%. The percentages of boys and girls enjoying computer games are 17% and 14% respectively, which shows not much variance.

Regarding music, the portions of teenagers in two genders favoring this activity are nearly the same, approximately 19%.

By contrast, shopping is the most common leisure activity for boys, about 35%, much higher than the figure for girls, only at 6%.

Word Count: 137

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

girls: 5

canada: 3

activity: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report identifies some key trends but contains inaccuracies in the data reported. The structure is present but the information is not always accurate. To improve, ensure that the data cited is correct and that all key features are mentioned. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has an identifiable structure with an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. However, the organization could be improved for clarity. The overview is somewhat vague. The paragraphs lack clear topic sentences, and the transitions between them could be smoother. Consider using more precise language to connect ideas and guide the reader through the information.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of precision and variety. Some phrases are a bit repetitive (e.g., 'percentages of boys and girls'). Try to incorporate a wider range of synonyms and more specific vocabulary related to leisure activities and data comparison. For example, instead of 'much lower,' you could use 'significantly less' or 'considerably smaller.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a fair range of grammatical structures, but there are noticeable errors that affect clarity. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, article usage, and correct tense usage. Review and correct the identified grammatical errors to improve the overall accuracy of your writing. Also, focus on using more complex sentence structures accurately to enhance the sophistication of your writing.

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