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Band 7+: The line graph shows the prison population in a European country between 1911 and 2001. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The line graph shows the prison population in a European country between 1911 and 2001. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image displays graphs showing male and female prison populations from 1911 to 2001. Male prison population 1911-2001: 1911 - 30,000; 1921 - 27,000; 1931 - 30,000; 1941 - 28,000; 1951 - 30,000; 1961 - 27,000; 1971 - 33,000; 1981 - 38,000; 1991 - 48,000; 2001 - 45,000. Female prison population 1911-2001: 1911 - 3,000; 1921 - 2,800; 1931 - 2,000; 1941 - 1,000; 1951 - 900; 1961 - 700; 1971 - 600; 1981 - 700; 1991 - 1,200; 2001 - 1,800.

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The given line graphs compare the prison population of both genders from 1911 to 2001.

Overall, both figures showed volatile fluctuations, with the number of female prison population experiencing the biggest fall. The number of male imprisonment showed persistent increase throughout the period. Interestingly, at the first year of the period there was the biggest discrepancy between two indicators.

In 1911 and 1912, the male prison population stood at nearly 20.000, declining to its lowest point of 10.000 at 1931, before rising again to 20.000 in 1971. From this point, the trend showed dramatic increase until 1981, accounting for approximately 39.000, after which it showed a consistent increase until the end of the period, reaching about 45.000 male prisoners.

In contrast, the number of females in prisons in 1911 was significantly low compared to male, accounting approximately 3.250, before experiencing dramatic decline to just above 500 in 1941. Following this, the trend showed continuous increase, despite some periodic fluctuations. The pattern reached approximately 1.250 in 1961, before falling to just under 1.000 in 1971, after which the trend recovered and increased to nearly 1.500 in 2001.

Word Count: 186

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

showed: 5

increase: 4

prison: 3

population: 3

number: 3

period: 3

before: 3

trend: 3

approximately: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by comparing male and female prison populations over the specified period. The overall structure is clear, with an introduction, an overview, and detailed paragraphs for each gender. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data (e.g., male population in 1911 is stated as nearly 20,000 instead of 30,000, and the female population in 1911 is given as approximately 3,250 instead of 3,000). Additionally, the overview contains a contradiction: it mentions a 'persistent increase' for males, but the data shows fluctuations. The report would benefit from more precise data reporting and a more accurate summary of the main trends.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear overall trend statement and separate paragraphs for male and female data. However, the flow could be improved by more logical sequencing of data points and smoother transitions between sentences. For example, the phrase 'Interestingly, at the first year of the period there was the biggest discrepancy between two indicators' could be better integrated into the overview. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices is adequate but sometimes repetitive (e.g., 'before rising', 'after which'). Consider varying linking words and phrases to enhance readability.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate and shows some range (e.g., 'volatile fluctuations', 'persistent increase', 'dramatic decline'). However, there are occasional inaccuracies or awkward phrasings, such as 'the number of female prison population experiencing the biggest fall' (should be 'the female prison population experienced the biggest fall') and 'accounting approximately' (should be 'accounting for approximately'). To achieve a higher score, aim for more precise and natural collocations, and avoid minor errors in word choice.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences with subordinate clauses. However, there are several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity. For instance, 'In 1911 and 1912, the male prison population stood at nearly 20.000' should be '20,000' (comma instead of period), and 'accounting approximately 3.250' should be 'accounting for approximately 3,250'. Also, the sentence 'the number of females in prisons in 1911 was significantly low compared to male' could be rephrased for better accuracy. To improve, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement, article usage, and correct numerical formatting.

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