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Band 7+: The number and the purpose of trips made by men and women in a certain European country in 2007

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The image shows the number and purposes of trips made by men and women in a certain European country in 2007: Day trip: Men 50, Women 40; Sports/entertainment: Men 70, Women 60; Visiting friends: Men 150, Women 150; Shopping: Men 100, Women 150; Travelling to work: Men 250, Women 300.

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The bar chart illustrates the number and purposes of trips made by men and women in a certain European country in 2007.

Overall, men made more trips for purposes such as day trips, sports and entertainment, and travelling to work, whereas women undertook more trips for visiting friends and shopping. The highest number of trips overall was recorded for travelling to work, particularly among men.

Focusing on men’s trips, they made nearly 50 day trips, while the figure for sports and entertainment was around 140. The most frequent purpose for men, however, was travelling to work, which accounted for approximately 340 trips.

By contrast, women made slightly more trips than men to visit friends, with about 210 journeys, and the largest number of trips among women was for shopping, totaling nearly 300 trips.

Word Count: 133

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Overall Band Score

7.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

trips: 10

women: 4

number: 3

travelling: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main features of the data and provides a clear overview. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported. For example, the report states that men made around 140 trips for sports and entertainment, but the visual description indicates 70. Also, the report mentions 340 trips for men traveling to work, but the visual description indicates 250. Similarly, the report states that women made about 210 journeys to visit friends, but the visual description indicates 150. These inaccuracies detract from the task achievement. To improve, ensure that the data reported is accurate and consistent with the visual description. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a clear overview and organizes the information logically, with a general overview followed by details on men's and women's trips. Transitions are generally smooth, but could be enhanced to further improve the flow between ideas. For example, in the second paragraph, you mentioned that 'The highest number of trips overall was recorded for travelling to work, particularly among men.' However, in the next paragraph, you started with 'Focusing on men's trips...' which makes the previous sentence a bit disconnected. Consider rephrasing or adding a transition to connect these ideas more explicitly.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, using terms like 'illustrates,' 'undertook,' 'accounted for,' and 'totaling.' The language is generally accurate and appropriate. To further enhance the lexical resource, consider incorporating more varied synonyms and idiomatic expressions related to travel and purpose.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report exhibits a wide range of grammatical structures with full flexibility and control. Punctuation and grammar are used correctly and appropriately throughout. There are virtually no grammatical errors or phrasing issues.

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