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Band 6+: The number and the purpose of trips made by men and women in a certain European country in 2007

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The image shows the number and purposes of trips made by men and women in a certain European country in 2007: Day trip: Men 50, Women 40; Sports/entertainment: Men 70, Women 60; Visiting friends: Men 150, Women 150; Shopping: Men 100, Women 150; Travelling to work: Men 250, Women 300.

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The graph illustrate a number and a purpose of trips made by males and females in a certain European country in 2007.

Overall, while the number of trips made by men prevalent those of woman in single day, sports and entertainment and work trips, the opposite pattern can be observed for visiting friends and shopping. Notably, while the figures for work travelling and shopping trips showed a pronounced difference between genders, others experienced little changes.

Focusing on male-dominant trips first, while the number of day trips made by women is roughly 25, men’s almost on a third more. Regarding the sports/entertainment trips, the number of trips made by male is slightly more than those made by women. (140 and 130). The figure for work trips showed a noticeable difference with 330 for males and 210 for females.

Moving onto female dominated trips, the number trips for visiting friends amongst women is 205, whereas among men is 195. The figure for shopping purposed trips amongst women is 270, making considerably higher than trips made by men.

Word Count: 175

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

trips: 13

number: 5

women: 4

while: 3

shopping: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task but contains inaccuracies in the data and some issues with clarity. The overview is acceptable, but the body paragraphs contain some confusing comparisons and inaccurate data. To improve, ensure data accuracy and clarity in comparisons. Also, avoid introducing new information in the conclusion.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize the information, but the structure could be improved for better flow. The overview is present but could be more insightful, highlighting the key trends more effectively. Transitions between paragraphs are somewhat abrupt, and the connection between sentences within paragraphs could be strengthened to improve coherence. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas and ensure a smoother reading experience.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there's room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. Some phrases are a bit repetitive or could be expressed more concisely. Try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to comparisons and trends to enhance the sophistication of your language. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'number of trips,' consider alternatives like 'frequency of travel' or 'incidence of journeys.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are noticeable grammatical errors that affect clarity. Subject-verb agreement issues, incorrect article usage, and awkward phrasing are present. While the overall meaning is understandable, these errors detract from the report's credibility. Focus on proofreading carefully to identify and correct grammatical mistakes. Practice using a wider range of sentence structures accurately to improve the overall quality of your writing.

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Band 6+: The number and the purpose of trips made by men and women in a certain European country in 2007

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Answers On The Same Topic:

The number and the purpose of trips made by men and women in a certain European country in 2007

The number and the purpose of trips made by men and women in a certain European country in 2007

The number and the purpose of trips made by men and women in a certain European country in 2007

The number and the purpose of trips made by men and women in a certain European country in 2007

The number and the purpose of trips made by men and women in a certain European country in 2007

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Check Your Answer On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample Answer?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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