Pie Chart

Band 5+: The pie chart below show the average household expenditures in a country in 1950 and 2010 summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make conversion where relevant

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The image displays two pie charts of average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia for 2010, detailing percentages: Japan's expenses are Housing 21%, Transport 10%, Food 24%, Health care 6%, and Other goods and services 29%, while Malaysia's expenses are Housing 34%, Transport 10%, Food 27%, Health care 3%, and Other goods and services 26%.

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The pie charts illustrates the average family expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in 2010.

Overall, it is evident that the family mostly spend their money for goods and services. Also, each family spent money for every day food supplies. If people have health problems, they exactly buy pills and need health care helps. However, people spend less money for health care rather than foods and goods. The family members use transport and housing every day.

In Japan, people mostly spent their money for goods and services, with almost 30%. Also, this expenditure in Malaysia, with to 26%. Food supplies need each family that the people spent 24% money in Japan. In Malaysia, that statistic shows people expenditure for food 27%. Furthermore, both countries Japan and Malaysia less spent for health care in Japan, with to 6% and in Malaysia, with to 3%.

In addition, the transport expenditure in Japan, with to 20%. In Malaysia, that expenditure only 10%. Moreover, housing expenditure in Malaysia, with to 34%. Thats expenditure 21% in Japan.

Word Count: 171

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

japan: 7

malaysia: 7

expenditure: 6

family: 5

money: 5

people: 5

spent: 4

health: 4

goods: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task by describing the household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia. However, there are significant issues with accuracy and clarity. The data is not always correctly represented, and there are instances of misinterpretation. The organization is somewhat present but could be improved with a clearer structure and more effective use of comparative language. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data, using precise language, and organizing the information in a more coherent and comparative manner.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and logical flow. The ideas are not well-connected, and the paragraphing is not effective. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are weak, making it difficult for the reader to follow the main points. For example, the shift from the overall statement to specific details within each country is abrupt. Improve the flow by using cohesive devices (e.g., 'similarly,' 'in contrast,' 'furthermore') and organizing the information more systematically, perhaps by discussing each expenditure category across both countries in turn.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and lacks precision. There is repetition of words like 'spend' and 'expenditure,' and the phrasing is often awkward (e.g., 'family mostly spend their money for goods and services'). The report does not demonstrate a wide range of vocabulary or sophisticated control of lexical features. To improve, try to use synonyms and more precise language to describe the data. For example, instead of 'spend money,' consider using 'allocate funds,' 'invest,' or 'dedicate resources.' Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and improper use of prepositions. Sentence structure is often awkward and unclear. For example, 'Food supplies need each family that the people spent 24% money in Japan' is grammatically incorrect and difficult to understand. To improve, focus on using correct grammar and sentence structure. Review basic grammar rules and practice writing clear, concise sentences. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors.

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Band 5+: The pie chart below show the average household expenditures in a country in 1950 and 2010 summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make conversion where relevant

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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The pie chart below show the average household expenditures in a country in 1950 and 2010 summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make conversion where relevant

The pie chart below show the average household expenditures in a country in 1950 and 2010 summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make conversion where relevant

The pie chart below show the average household expenditures in a country in 1950 and 2010 summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make conversion where relevant

The pie chart below show the average household expenditures in a country in 1950 and 2010 summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make conversion where relevant

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Overall Band Score

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Coherence & Cohesion

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Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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